She needed to focus on the practical—on need-to-know, real-life information.
‘I need to know what our marriage would mean on a day-to-day level for Amil. What it will be like for him to grow up in a palace, as a Lycander prince. Right now it feels surreal.’
‘The state apartments are a bit more opulent than your average home, I suppose, but otherwise his childhood will be what we make it.’
‘Will he go to a nursery?’
‘I don’t see why not—there will be a certain level of security arrangements, but I can’t see a problem with that.’
‘And he’ll have friends round to play?’
How she’d craved friendship as a child—but there had been no one. Her mixed race heritage, the fact that she was illegitimate, the fact that her mother was a model, had all combined to make school a miserable place of isolation for her. She knew exactly what a solitary childhood could be like, and she didn’t want that for her son.
‘Yup. Again, subject to security vetting.’
‘Is that how it worked for you?’
She sensed the tension in his body.
‘It isn’t relevant how it was for me,’ he said.
He had to be kidding. ‘Of course it is. You are a prince who grew up in a palace. You want Amil to do the same. So, did you make friends, have kids round to play? Were you treated differently?’
Discomfort showed as he shifted on his seat, picked his beer up and put it down again without even taking a sip. ‘My life...my younger brothers’ lives...weren’t as straightforward as I hope Amil’s will be. There weren’t that many opportunities for us to make normal friends. It was better for Axel, because my father sent him to boarding school, and—’
Whoa! ‘That is not happening to Amil. I will not send him away.’
‘I won’t rule that out.’
‘Yes, you will. I don’t care if every Crown Prince since the Conquest was sent to boarding school. Amil isn’t going.’
‘That is not why I would do it.’ Frustration seeped into his tone. ‘In fact, I didn’t say I would do it. It is simply a possibility I will consider in the future.’
‘No.’
His voice tightened. ‘Different children thrive in different conditions. Axel was educated at boarding school and it didn’t do him any harm. I spent a term there and I loved it.’
‘In which case, why did you leave?’
‘Because my father changed his mind.’
‘He must have had a reason.’
‘I’m sure he did.’
Despite the even tone of his voice she could sense evasion.
‘Do you know what it was?’
‘My father’s attitude to my education was a little hit and miss. Axel went to boarding school, but the rest of us... We had tutors some of the time, attended a term of local school here and there, or we ran wild. For my father, education wasn’t a priority—in the palace or in the principality as a whole. I will change that, but it will take time—that’s why I won’t rule out boarding school if it is right for Amil.’
‘That is my decision.’
‘Amil is our son. We will make decisions about his future. Not you or me. Us—together.’
‘And what happens if we don’t agree?’
‘Then we find a compromise.’