His heartbeat froze. Beneath the throb of music and laughter, he could hear raised voices. Somewhere in the house a man and woman were arguing loudly.
It was Guy and his mother.
His heart began beating again and, with the blood chilling in his veins, he walked towards the doorway to his mother’s room. The voices grew louder and more unrestrained as he got closer.
And then he heard his mother laugh.
Only it wasn’t a happy sound.
‘You just can’t help yourself, can you? Couldn’t you have a little self-control? Just for one night?’
‘Maybe you should have a little less, darling. It’s a party—not a military tattoo.’
Ram winced. Guy sounded belligerent. And drunk.
For a moment he hesitated. There had been so many of these arguments during his life. Surely it wouldn’t matter if he walked away from this one? But as his mother started to cry he braced his shoulders and walked into the bedroom.
‘Oh, here’s the cavalry.’ Turning, Guy squinted across the room at him. ‘Don’t start, Ram. You don’t pay me enough to take part in that gala performance downstairs.’
‘But I pay you enough to treat my mother with respect,’ he said coolly. ‘However, if you don’t think you can manage to do that, maybe I’ll just have to cut back your allowance. No point in paying for something I’m not actually getting.’
For a moment Guy held his gaze defiantly, but then finally he shrugged and looked away. ‘Fine. But if you think I’m going to deal with her in this state—’
‘I’ll deal with my mother.’ Ram forced himself to stay calm. ‘Why don’t you go and enjoy the party? Eat some food...have a soft drink. Oh, and Guy? I meant what I said about treating my mother with respect.’
Grumbling, still avoiding Ram’s eyes, Guy stumbled from the room.
Heart aching, Ram stared across the room to where his mother sat crying on the bed. Crossing the room, he crouched down in front of her and stroked her hair away from her face.
‘Don’t worry about him. He’s been drinking, that’s all. And he’s had to get up before noon to make a couple of phone calls so he’s probably exhausted.’
She tried to smile through her tears. ‘That must be it.’
‘It is. Now, here. Take this.’ Reaching into his pocket, Ram pulled out a handkerchief and held it out to her. ‘It’s clean. I promise.’
Taking the handkerchief, Pandora wiped her eyes carefully. ‘I just wanted it to be perfect, Ramsay. For one night.’
‘And it is. Everyone’s having a wonderful time.’
She shook her head, pressing her hand against his. ‘You’re not. You’ll say you are, but I know you’re not.’
Ram swallowed. Whenever his mother and Guy argued there was a pattern. She would get angry, then cry, and then she would redo her make-up and carry on as if nothing had happened. But tonight was different, for he could never remember her talking about him or his feelings.
He looked at her uncertainly. ‘You’re right—normally. But it’s different tonight. I really am enjoying myself.’
His mother smiled.
‘That’s because of Nola. She’s the difference and you’re different with her. Happier.’ She squeezed his hand. ‘I was happy like that when I found out I was pregnant with you. I know it sounds crazy, but when that line turned blue I just sat and looked at it, and those few hours when it was just you and me were the happiest of my life. I knew then that you’d be handsome and smart and strong.’
A tear rolled down her cheek.
‘I just wish I’d been stronger.’
Ram dragged a hand through his hair. He felt her pain like a weight. ‘You were strong, Mother.’
Shaking her head, she let the tears fall. ‘I should never have married Guy. I should have had
the courage to stand up to your grandfather. I should have waited for someone who wanted me and loved me for who I was.’