The words were out of her mouth before she’d even realised she’d spoken, and she felt a rush of fear. But, looking up at him, she saw that there was no pity in his eyes, no contempt curling his mouth.
‘It doesn’t have to be running. I just need to be moving. Otherwise I get these thoughts and I can’t do anything.’
‘What thoughts?’
‘That I’m stupid. That I fail at everything.’ Her mouth twisted. ‘That even though I run I’m always the runner-up.’
Luis felt his heart twist. Even without the sight of her hands clenching he could hear the strain in her voice, and he wanted more than anything to take away her pain. But he didn’t know what to say. Bas had always been the one who knew the right words.
‘You’re not a runner-up,’ he said gently. ‘You got this job on merit. Justifiably. Because you’re extraordinarily talented. You need to believe in yourself.’
Her mouth slanted upwards, but her smile was taut and unhappy. ‘That’s easy for you to say.’
Pressing the toe of her trainer into the unforgiving limestone, Cristina felt her body stiffen as he took a step towards her.
‘No, it isn’t.’
Something in his voice made her look up.
‘Every day I miss my brother so much.’ He glanced past her, his face clouded with emotion. ‘That’s why I come here. It was our place. It’s where I feel closest to him,’ he said simply. ‘We used to sneak out at night. Even when he was really young Bas was a rule-breaker. He loved taking risks.’
Suddenly it hurt to look at his eyes, and she thought her cheeks might crack with the effort of keeping her expression even. ‘And you don’t?’
His gaze switched to her face. ‘No. I tried…’ He gave her a small, tight smile. ‘After Bas died I thought that if I acted like him then maybe I could somehow keep him alive. So I started to take risks. I surfed the biggest waves I could find. I jumped out of planes—’
He made it sound ordinary, but she could feel the pain beneath his words.
‘What happened?’
He shrugged. ‘I had to stop. My parents…’ His mouth thinned. ‘They had enough to deal with as it was, and it was upsetting them.’
Around them, the air was heavy and silent. Even the waves seemed to have stilled.
‘But you still ride motorbikes?’
He shook his head. ‘That was a one-off. I was keeping a promise to my brother to take the road trip we always said we’d do.’
She nodded, but there was a choking feeling in her throat and she felt suddenly sick with herself.
Luis hadn’t been playing at being a biker in Segovia. He’d been grieving for his brother.
Without thinking she reached out and took his hand. ‘I’m sorry, Luis. About your brother. And about all those things I said—’
He shook his head. ‘I deserved them. I was being self-righteous and unfair.’
His fingers tightened around hers, and she felt her stomach squeeze. ‘And I was stubborn and short-tempered,’ she said.
‘Sounds like we’re made for each other,’ he said softly, and she felt her heart clench as he leaned forward and kissed her.
Luis could hardly breathe. He hadn’t intended to kiss her, but feeling her mouth soften against his made it impossible to still the longing in his blood. Deepening the kiss, he curled his arm around her waist and pulled her closer, his fingers threading through her hair. She tasted so sweet, and he wanted her so badly, and yet—
From somewhere deep inside he felt a ripple of panic rise to the surface, and slowly, dazedly, he kicked back against the relentless tide of his longing.
Gently, he broke the kiss and took a step backwards. ‘I can’t do this. I’m sorry.’
Her eyes widened and he swore silently, for the expression of shock and hurt on her face tore him up inside. But there was nothing he could do.
Cristina made him lose control, and he couldn’t afford to lose control. She had the power to turn his life upside down and that wasn’t something he could allow to happen—particularly no