‘Sometimes it feels like it’s my fault,’ she said carefully. ‘That if I hadn’t been born my parents would still be together.’
‘Maybe they weren’t meant to be together.’
She wanted to believe him, and she was sure he believed what he was saying, but he only knew some of the facts.
‘I mess things up.’ Her mouth began to tremble and she twisted
it into a mangled smile. ‘Not just my parents’ marriage. I messed up with you. And the film I made has never been seen by anyone except lawyers.’
‘You didn’t mess up with me. It was just as much my fault as yours. And whatever those lawyers are arguing, I bet I could find ten different lawyers to say the opposite.’
Suddenly there were tears in her eyes. ‘It wouldn’t make any difference,’ she said wearily. ‘I’m the problem. I ruin everything.’
‘Not everything,’ he said gently.
She felt her heart contract. He was being so sweet, and she was ruining their last night together. With an effort she smiled up at him. ‘No, not everything.’
It was getting dark by the time the food was ready, and they ate greedily, licking the meat juices from their fingers. There was also trout from the lake, whole squashes and potatoes cooked in the ashes, and for dessert slow-roasted peaches that seemed to melt in her mouth.
‘Like it?’
Mimi looked up. Basa was watching her, his face half in darkness, his eyes like stars.
She nodded. ‘It’s amazing. It’s all amazing.’
He was amazing.
She had thought he was cold-hearted and judgmental, but she knew now that he was neither. He was kind and loyal and strong, and the idea of being apart from him for even a day was unbearable.
All of a sudden she felt dizzy—the same dizziness she had felt in the balloon, when she’d been trying to commit Basa to memory.
Only, there had been no need. Her heart had got there first. She didn’t have to try and remember him. She already knew everything about him by heart—the good and the bad—and that was why she loved him.
For a moment she sat gazing across the dark stretch of water, stunned by the truth. In a few short days he had become not just familiar, but necessary to her life. It was new and thrilling to feel like this, and yet so old, for she had never really stopped loving him. Why else had she agreed to come out to Argentina in the first place?
She wanted to tell him. To share her feelings. After all they had shared everything else: their bodies, their fears, their anger and pain. And now their love?
Except it wasn’t their love, it was only hers, in spite of the intensity of their lovemaking and the romantic appearance of these last few days.
She knew all about Basa’s deep-seated sense of responsibility for those around him, his need to right the wrongs. And that was all she was to him—a wrong to be righted.
The ache in her chest was spreading and, needing to make it stop, she leaned forward and took his face in her hands, kissing him fiercely.
‘I need you,’ she whispered.
And he pulled her to her feet and led her back into the house, where they stripped one another naked and she welcomed the wordless oblivion of her body’s response to his.
CHAPTER NINE
GAZING DOWN INTO the lake, Basa stood shivering for a moment in the crisp morning air and then, tipping forward, he executed a perfect forward dive.
His heart jolted, and he felt the chill of the water like a punch. Striking out, he began to swim towards the distant shore. Normally he loved swimming in the lake—loved the sense of freedom and peace, the chance to connect with nature in its raw state—but today he just needed to move, to lose himself in the rhythm of his body and briefly suspend the conflicted thoughts that had dogged him since waking.
Last night had been incredible—He frowned. No, that was wrong. There were no words, or none in his vocabulary, to describe what it had been like, but he did know that it would never be as good with any other woman.
They had made love repeatedly, feverishly at first, with his body responding to the white heat of her desire and the urgency of her mouth, and then more slowly, each of them holding back, letting their hunger build in time with their accelerating heartbeats, neither one wanting that time to be the last, so that even before their shuddering bodies had stilled they were reaching for one another again.
He had fallen asleep with Mimi’s body caught against his and woken early with a cramp in his arm. Shifting free, he had found it impossible to doze off again, with his body tuning in to the tension in his head, so he had quietly rolled off the bed, found his swim-shorts, and made his way onto the deck.