He couldn’t risk influencing Archie. Damaging him.
‘Why did you do that?’
There was no judgement in her voice and, meeting her gaze, he saw that there was no judgement there either.
‘My mother was his mistress. He never loved her. She was too needy, too emotional. He wouldn’t marry her—not even when he found out she was pregnant.’ His mouth twisted. ‘But then he found out I was a boy and I think he let his ego, the idea of having his name pass down the generations, overrule his reason.’
‘What happened?’
He shrugged. ‘He divorced Ina—that’s Josie and Sabrina’s mother—and married my mother. But she was terrified of losing him. You know what they say. When a man marries his mistress—’
‘There’s a vacancy.’
He nodded. ‘They stayed married, but they basically lived separate lives from when I was about three.’ His eyes met hers. ‘There were compensations. He gave her a beautiful home, made sure she had no financial worries. All she had to do was show up and smile and play the loving wife.’
Dora breathed out shakily. His mother had acted a part out of fear and desperation, with Charlie not much older than Archie. How much had he absorbed? Had he felt responsible? Blamed himself?
Looking up at his face, she didn’t need to ask.
‘And she had to let him teach me how to become a worthy successor and heir to the throne.’ His mouth twisted. ‘I might have lived with her, but he had expectations—“requirements” of his son—so she basically let him bring me up, even though it broke her heart. Mine too.’
Dora felt sick. So that was why Nuria had asked her to do a better job of protecting him.
‘It didn’t make any difference,’ he said slowly. ‘He was discreet, but he was never faithful to her—though he was careful not to make the same mistake again. Until Della... Sorry.’ He frowned. ‘I didn’t mean she was a mistake. Or Archie.’
Watching his face, Dora felt as though her heart would break. He looked so miserable, so exactly the way she had used to feel.
Reaching out, she found his hands. ‘That’s okay.’
‘No, it’s not. I was scared of ending up like my mother, like my sisters, their mothers, and it made me selfish. But everyone was disposable to my father.’
His voice was level, but that only seemed to make what he was saying seem more brutal.
‘Even being his child felt more like a goal than a right.’
‘Nobody’s son,’ she said softly.
‘I have a mother. I just didn’t let her be one.’
‘There’s still time.’
Charlie was shocked by the force of hope he felt at her words. ‘I don’t want to be my father.’
‘Charlie, you just walked out of your engagement party. In front of a thousand people. Without caring what they think.’ She breathed out shakily. ‘I don’t think you need to worry about that.’
He started to laugh, and she smiled, and then he felt his body begin to shake as he realised how close he had come to losing her and Archie. He pulled her against him, pressing her close, and the steady beat of her heart was like the first drops of rain after a long, dry summer.
‘I’ve never talked like this to anyone,’ he said slowly. ‘You’ve changed me, Dora Thorn. When I met you I was unreachable. I’d forgotten who I was, who I wanted to be, and you found me.’
‘You changed me too. If I hadn’t met you I would never have been able to come after you. You made me let go of my fears.’
His dark eyes rested on her face. ‘So do you think that’s a good enough reason to get married?’
‘It’s okay—but I’ve got a better one.’
‘What’s that?’ he asked softly.
‘I love you and you love me.’