Reaching out, he took her hand and held it against his cheek. ‘I know how hard this is for you. All of this,’ he said slowly. ‘And I’m sorry...so sorry that I haven’t done more—’
‘Shh...’ Shaking her head, his mother pressed her finger against his mouth. ‘I know—I know, querido, but it can wait, Charlie.’ She gave him a watery smile. ‘Let’s not worry about what can’t be changed. Today I want to hear about the future. Now, tell me, have you chosen a date for the wedding?’
He nodded, letting her lead him away from the damage of the past.
‘September the third seems the most auspicious date.’
‘That’s good—although I think fortune is already on your side.’ His mother’s beautiful green eyes found his. ‘Now the whole family will be together, and I know how important that is to you.’
‘To you too—to all of us.’ He forced himself to hold her gaze.
‘And that’s it? That’s the reason you’re marrying Dora? To bring Archie home to the family?’
‘Yes,’ he said quietly.
‘I don’t believe you.’ Her eyes were bright with the sheen of tears. ‘I know you love her.’
‘No—’ He tried to shake his head, but his body felt suddenly leaden. ‘I can’t love her. I don’t know how to love.’
‘Yes, you can. You do. And Dora loves you too.’
His chin jerked up, disbelief and hope briefly displacing the misery in his chest. But of course his mother was wrong.
You know how this works, he wanted to say. You’re still making it work.
‘She doesn’t love me. She’s marrying me for Archie’s sake. To give him access to all this.’ He couldn’t keep the bitterness out of his voice.
His mother smiled at him sadly. ‘She loves you, Charlie. Really loves you. Your father never loved me. He wanted me, but he only married me after he found out you were a boy.’ She was suddenly struggling to speak. ‘I should have divorced him years ago. But I was too cowardly, and weak. My weakness hurt you, and I’m sorry I wasn’t stronger for you.’
The pain and sadness in her face felt like a blade against his heart. ‘You were very young and you did your best.’
She shook her head. ‘I was young, and I was frightened of being alone. I told myself I was doing it out of love for you, and that was true.’
His eyes were prickling. Her love for him was indisputable, as was his for her. ‘I know,’ he said hoarsely.
‘But love should be about giving as well as taking.’ Her hand tightened around his. ‘You’re a good man, Charlie; now’s your chance to be a better one.’
Walking back into the Black Tiger’s huge reception room, Charlie felt as though he might stumble. Everything was so perfect, so flawless, as every Lao function always was. It looked like a film set.
Except this wasn’t a film. It was real life. With real people, not actors. And their smiles and tears were real too—or they were supposed to be.
His heart contracted as he spotted Dora’s blonde hair across the room. She was standing with his sisters, Archie in her arms.
Seeing her with his mother, he had felt a rush of agonising emotions. Hope, remorse, and, more than anything, fear. And now that fear was rising up inside him, more dark and terrible than any dragon.
Could Dora love him? He wanted it to be true, more than he had ever wanted anything, and yet...
His fingers brushed against hers, and she glanced up at him, her soft grey eyes searching his face with an eagerness and concern that made his heart pound. And then Arnaldo was beside him with a microphone and he was turning towards the guests.
‘Good afternoon, everyone. Thank you for coming here today. It’s wonderful to see you all.’ He paused, picturing his father’s face, the gleam of approval that he had spent half his life chasing. ‘As you know, I have an announcement to make...’
He caught a glimpse of his sisters’ faces. As ever, they were glossily perfect, and normally he would have looked away at that point. But today his eyes were drawn to the tension in Lei’s shoulders, the downward tilt of Josie’s mouth and Sabrina’s over-bright smile.
He felt a rush of panic. His sisters were all acting their parts, but now, as never before, it hurt to see it. Hurt to think of the women they might have become.
His gaze drifted to where his mother stood, beside his father’s other wives. It hurt more to think of the women they would become.
Love should be about giving, not just taking. Be a better man—that was what his mother had said. And what better time to start than now, here?