For a moment Charlie just stood there. Her distress hurt his chest much more effectively than her hands. He could feel her despair deep inside, as if it was his own. She was hurting—missing her sister...grieving.
He felt shocked at his stupidity. Of course she was grieving. But, truthfully, he hadn’t meant to upset her. He had expected her to kick against the idea of a nanny, but not to burst into tears.
‘As long as you get what you want you’ll do or say anything.’
He flinched inwardly as Dora’s accusation ricocheted round his head.
In the past that had been true, but right here and now, with her, he didn’t want to be that man, and as she continued to cry he pulled her against him. He felt her momentary resistance and then her body softened in his arms and he stroked her head, speaking quietly in Cantonese until little by little she began to grow calmer.
‘It’s not your fault,’ he said, switching back to English.
He felt her take a shuddering breath.
‘But it is. I don’t know what I’m doing half the time, and Archie knows that. I think he’s scared.’
‘Of course he’s scared.’ He didn’t like hearing that bruised note in her voice, knowing that he was partly responsible for it. ‘And confused, and probably angry too. How could he not be? He’s a baby and he’s just lost his mother. His whole world, everything he’s ever known, has changed.’ He hesitated, and then gently tipped her chin up. ‘Except you.’
Her grey eyes were swollen, and her cheeks were smudged with mascara, but he saw with relief that she had stopped crying.
‘You’re still here. You’re his constant. And you’re doing a wonderful job.’
‘If you believe that, why have you hired a nanny?’
‘Shengyi is here to help, not to replace you.’ He stared down at her, caught in the trap of her tangled blonde hair and parted pink lips. ‘That wouldn’t actually be possible,’ he said softly. Reaching out, he ran his finger down her face. ‘I don’t think you could be replaced.’
Beneath the pounding of his heart he could hear alarms going off in his head, but they made no sense—not when she was so close that he could feel the soft curve of her breasts through his T-shirt.
‘I’ve ever met anyone like you,’ he said.
There was a beat of silence. He just had time to catch the flicker of heat in her grey eyes and then she took a step closer and her mouth fused with his.
This is a mistake on so many levels, he told himself.
But he didn’t care.
The scent of her skin was filling his head and, unable to stop himself, he kissed her back, his lips and tongue urgent, pulling her closer, moulding her body against his. Her lips were soft, and she tasted sweet and warm like melting sugar. He felt her hand slide up over the muscles of his back and, framing her face, he deepened the kiss, wanting more of her sweetness.
His body felt hot and hard, like something forged in a fire. She was moving against him, her bare legs sliding between his so that the hard ridge of his erection was pressing into the soft mound of her belly. He felt light-headed with desire. Capturing her hair in his hand, he tipped back her head, his mouth seeking her throat, his hands sliding beneath her top.
She felt so good. Her skin was warm and soft, like suede. Suddenly exhilarated at being free to explore, he ran his hands over the contours of her body, his fingers bumping over her ribs, up to the underside of her breasts—
‘Charlie...’
She whispered his name, but it was enough to drag his brain out of neutral.
What was he playing at? Had he lost his mind?
His head was still spinning a
t the speed and intensity of his desire but, ignoring the protests from his body, he stepped away from her and stared down at her face.
Her eyes were wide and unfocused, and she looked as dazed as he felt. ‘I don’t know how that happened...’
How was unimportant. What mattered was that it didn’t happen again.
Glancing down at her flushed face, he felt his stomach tense.
Dora was his passport to Archie. Messing around with her wasn’t just playing with fire—it was like dancing on the edge of a volcano. He was appalled at himself for letting things go so far.