I felt him take a huge exhale and relief flooded him. “Jesus, sweetie, I was so scared.”
“So was I,” I said slowly, trying to choose my words carefully. “But I think I figured it out.”
His huge hands stroking my back instantly soothed me. But now I had to be brave. Sitting back slightly, I tried to speak above a whisper. “It’s always been really hard for me to speak up for what I want,” I said.
He nodded, holding my hands and waiting patiently.
“When you suddenly took that job, seeing that you’re still close with your ex-girlfriend, it really hurt me.”
“Baby, I’m–”
I raised a finger to shush him, and he nodded.
“You have no way of knowing that I’m terrified of being abandoned, because of my father. You have no way of knowing how insecure I am about tall, slender blondes. You don’t know that feeling invisible is one of my biggest fears.”
The horror in his eyes was sort of touching.
“But that’s okay,” I said quickly. “We have so much to learn about each other. We’ll have to figure out what we each need, and how to operate so that we’re in sync. Right?”
He nodded.
“Everyone has some strange emotional points within them, and some things that are on a hair trigger. I need to be able to speak up and tell you when that’s happening. Or immediately after, once I’ve taken a little time to process it.”
“I want you to tell me everything you’re feeling. Please. Everything,” Dale begged.
“I’d like to share everything with you, but I also don’t want to seem like a fragile little girl. Like someone who needs constant attention. I don’t want to interrupt your busy life or get in your way.” Leaning forward, I gave him a gentle kiss, because it looked like he’d nearly stopped breathing. “We’re going to learn how to fix things in advance next time. It’s okay.”
“I was a total asshole for not taking you home, at least,” he said quietly.
“No, you were focused on the job. That’s okay. I wish that I could have told you what I needed.”
Dale nodded, giving my hands a squeeze. “What could I have done better?”
“You could have pulled me aside for just two minutes for a proper goodbye. I think that’s all it would have taken. Then a text goodnight.”
He nodded, thinking. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know how to function with Laurie there.” He hesitated. “She’s always been really loud and outspoken, and she was really frantic that day.”
“I understand why you didn’t introduce me. It’s still really new.”
“I wanted to,” he stammered, “I really did. I wanted to tell her that you’re my new girlfriend and that she was interrupting, but...” He stopped, staring desperately into my eyes. “I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to call you that yet. I was afraid that I’d say the wrong thing and upset you.”
“You think that calling me your girlfriend would upset me?”
“I don’t know. I mean, some people have timelines and rules and stuff, and you’re a bit proper about some things and I wanted to check first.” His lips curled up in a strange smile. “Lindsay... You sort of terrify me.”
I stared at him, blinking. “Me?”
“Yes. I’m scared that I’m not in your league, and that I’m too rough and strange for you. You’re always so put together, and seem to know what’s going on. I was quiet so that I didn’t make a mistake.”
Shaking my head, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
“Now I think I know that I should always speak up, right?” he asked. I nodded quickly. “Okay, good. So if my ex, or my coworkers, or anyone comes around, I’m going to pull you into my arms and tell them you’re my girlfriend.”
My chin tipped up and down slower this time as I smiled at him. “Yeah. If that’s okay.”
“Sweetie, I feel such strange, possessive urges for you that I’m trying to be careful. I don’t want to scare you off. If you tell me that I’m allowed, I’ll tell the whole city that you’re my girlfrie
nd.”