Maybe I shouldn’t have hoped that we’d end up dating. I couldn’t help it – we clicked so well in
almost every possible way.
I was in a tizzy trying to figure out how to prepare to see him. It wasn’t a date, obviously. Except that it was. He’d only seen me in yoga pants and comfy sweaters. I didn’t want to frighten him off by dressing up too much, but I wanted him to see me in a new light.
I settled on a dark blue dress that fell just below the knee and revealed a tasteful amount of cleavage. I left my hair down in natural waves, and wore just a tiny bit of makeup. I knew that a little smoky brown eyeshadow made my eyes really pop. If he had a problem with them, I needed to find out once and for all. Immediately.
My heart was racing as I put on my sunglasses and began walking to the park where we had arranged to meet. My hands were already shaking. I needed him to touch me so badly I ached. I’d never had these sorts of feelings for a man, and if he didn’t let me touch him today, I might actually fall apart.
As I approached, I saw Liam sitting on a bench. I was running five minutes early, and he beat me here. I wondered what that meant.
He was nearly hunched over, his shoulders tight. I could see his hands opening and closing, making fists as if he was trying to shake out his tension. What could he be so upset about?
Then Liam looked up and saw me, and straightened up immediately.
I came over cautiously, sitting close beside him. “Hi,” I said softly, turning to him. It was so hard not to reach for him. I needed him to hold me and tell me what was wrong.
He studied my face for a moment, then his blank expression fell.
“I can’t trust myself with this anymore,” he said, handing me my apartment key with a shaky hand.
I looked up at him. “What do you mean?” I slid my sunglasses up on my head, looking at him. Waiting.
Taking a deep breath, he turned toward me. His eyes locked with mine, and I could practically see fire in those circles of deep hazel brown.
“Kayla, I need you to understand. When I saw those eyes, that smile, that look of joy and relief on your gorgeous face... I felt a wave of lust for you that I didn’t think I could control. I had to get away for your own good.”
Was he making some sort of weird joke? “I don’t understand.”
He took a few deep breaths. “Okay. If I tell you the truth, you’re going to need to listen, then quickly walk away in the opposite direction. Do you understand?”
“If that’s really what you want, sure.” I could feel myself pouting. There was nothing I could seem to do to make him act rationally. His energy was all twitchy and strange. Much different from the steadfast calm of just a few days ago.
He closed his eyes and became very still. “Kayla, I’ve been a big guy my entire life, then even more when I found out the gym makes me feel amazing. But people expect me to act like a caveman. I counter this by trying to be civilized and polite at all times. Yet when I saw your eyes, I needed to tear your clothes off and take you right there. I don’t mean that I wanted to. I’m sure most men would like to. You’re breathtaking. But I mean need. real, raw need. It was physically hard to keep my hands off you.”
“You can’t be serious,” I whispered.
Liam refused to open his eyes. “All I dream about is your soft, curvy body under mine. Those eyes looking up at me as I slide inside you. I can’t stop thinking about making you mine, and keeping you with me forever.” He swallowed hard. “You likely have plans for your life that don’t involve someone like me as your boyfriend, life partner, whatever. So if you want to continue having your nice life, you need to walk away right now. Please.”
I couldn’t believe what he was saying. He was everything I’d ever wanted. “What if I don’t want that? What if I want you?”
His lips pressed together hard. “Kayla, don’t tease me. I know you can’t possibly have feelings like this for me, so you need to move on. I’ll try to forget where you live. I’ll try to forget you.”
I could feel the frustration, the stress radiating from him. He was trying so hard to do the right thing for me. But I knew in my heart that the best thing for me was him.
“Walk away,” he said, his eyes still closed. “Please take good care of yourself, Kayla.”
“No.”
His frustration looked painful, his hands clenched in his lap. “Please don’t make this even harder for me.”
“No. I don’t want to take care of myself. I like the way you take care of me. And I want to take care of you. I think we’re going to be an amazing team.”
He froze, almost shaking.
“Liam, I’ve been stared at all my life!” I burst out, trying not to yell in frustration. “People thought the wonky-eyed girl was crazy, or some sort of mentally different, or I don’t even know what else. Nobody ever thought that I was normal. You’re likely the only other person who knows what this feels like. You understand me, and I feel… a lot of new things around you.”
Liam exhaled a shaky breath. “Kayla, remember how I was sweet with you, and gentle with you?”