“Would you like to revamp our site?” he asked hopefully.
“I’d love to.” My stomach fluttered again realizing that we’d be working together, and I’d be able to see him again.
“Great,” he grinned. He reached for my notebook, flipping to a new page and writing down his URL, email, and phone number. I noticed that it wasn’t the number of the shop, which had been the wifi password.
“Our site is simple, which is fine, but it needs more personality. Some of your photos would be great.” Then he shot me a smile that nearly knocked the air from me. “Do you like this shop?”
“Absolutely.”
“What would you say are the strong points?”
I pointed to my empty mug. “That coffee is brilliant.” He nodded, waiting for more. Looking around, I analyzed carefully. “It’s comfortable. I prefer indie shops to the big chains, and this is why. You’ve softened the light, making it nicer for people with laptops. The chairs are comfortable enough to stay a while. The music is perfect.”
Dave smiled. “That’s exactly what I was going for. A place where you almost want to kick off your shoes.”
My giggle surprised me. “Precisely.”
“We also have some new products that people can buy online. If you could email me this afternoon, I’ll send a list, and we can go over the details. Sorry, I have to go prep for the lunch rush.”
“Sure. I’ll send you a quote immediately.”
He shrugged those wide shoulders, making it hard not to stare again. “I’m sure your price is fair.”
Dave held out his hand to me again, but this time it wasn’t a shake. It was… I didn’t know what it was. He held my hand in his as he stared into my eyes.
My inner monologue was silenced for the first time ever. My physical body was my entire being, as I became aware of every point that was closest to him, and every millimeter where our skin touched.
I’d always been nervous around men, but somehow as he touched me, even in this innocent way, the tornado of anxiety inside me became still.
“I hope you’ll come back tomorrow,” he said gently, and I nodded automatically.
He left, and I felt a large cool space where he used to be. I’d never been so physically attracted to a man before, but now that he was a client, I’d have to control myself.
As I quickly packed up my things to leave, I realized that was a joke. There was no way a guy like that would be interested in such a mousy girl. And even if he was, he’d be after a fling or something. I doubted I could hold anyone’s interest for very long.
Walking home, I tried not to think about my fear of men. My father had often been angry, yelling and throwing things whenever something didn’t go his way. Holes were punched in several walls, and I spent a lot of my childhood in the basement with a book. I learned from a young age that my absence and my silence seemed to make everything easier.
There was something about raised voices that made me feel like the person was out of control. Uncivilized. If they were able to release control of their voice, were they still able to control their actions? It was unsettling, and maybe a bit paranoid, but I couldn’t help my reaction.
I still have no idea how my mother dealt with my father, or how bad it was for her. I just knew that she was as quiet as possible at all times, and always tried to make things pleasant and easy for him.
Logically, I knew that most men were nothing like my father, and most men were quite civilized. Knowing that gender roles weren’t always this rigid didn’t do much to help my feeling of dread whenever men were loud. Boisterous sports fans were avoided. Rowdy people were avoided. It was just my way.
By the time I got to college, it surprised me a little that authority figures were calm. Nobody ever yelled, even when they were angry. And a slightly raised voice didn’t always mean a raised fist.
The world far away from my parents was much nicer. I didn’t quite trust it, but I was learning how to operate independently in this world. It was a start. I did want to have a man in my life some day, so I’d have to start working on relaxing.
CHAPTER TWO
* Dave *
From the second I first saw the slightly short, curvy girl walk into my coffee shop, I was intrigued. I nearly pushed Kevin out of my way to get to the counter to look at her more closely. I tried to ignore her round hips that I just wanted to grab hold of. Her deep brown eyes and glossy dark hair were striking, but it was her soft pink lips that completely drew me in.
I knew it had been a long time since I’d had a girlfriend, but starting two new franchises and starting to sell my fresh roasted coffee beans online didn’t leave much time for socializing. I would never have dreamed that a girl so pe
rfect for me would just walk through my door.
She seemed rather quiet, and bookish in the most precious way. I could picture her curled up with a novel and a steaming mug beside her. I don’t know what it was about smart, quiet girls that has always aroused my curiosity.