“It really was amazing,” I said gently, brushing my thumb across the back of her hand. “I know I said a lot of crazy things, but I need you to know that I meant–”
“Oh, I wouldn’t hold you to anything you said while we were, you know.” Her nervous laugh was brittle. “I know this is just a summer...whatever. That’s exactly what I expected.”
“That’s not what I’m saying. I think–”
She jumped up, grabbing her empty plate and mine, placing them in the sink. “Will you let me do the dishes this time?”
“No, but wait, can we talk about this?”
“I should go then, and get to work.” She dashed to the washroom, coming out with her clothes rolled into a ball. “The jeans are still wet. I’ll get your stuff back to you whenever I see you, okay?”
I couldn’t believe how fast she jammed her feet into her boots, grabbing her jacket. “Thanks so much for breakfast,” she grinned. “Saved from the storm, plus well-fueled with eggs and vegetables for a marathon of songwriting. This is going to be an amazing day. Thanks, Ray!”
She darted out the door and down the path, leaving me standing there feeling stunned.
The woman I honestly wanted to spend my life with just took off as if this was some sort of booty call. I was humiliated. And shocked. Could she not have felt what I did?
Or...my blood ran cold. Could I have frightened her in some way, or not cared for her in the way that she needed? Could I have wronged my sweet little Kate to the point where she felt she needed to run from me?
CHAPTER NINE
* Kate *
As I trudged down the gravel trail to cabin number eleven, I’d never felt so ashamed in my life. The morning air was crisp and clear, and the rain had washed everything clean except for the nasty, twisting tension in the pit of my stomach.
Digging into the pocket of my still wet jeans for the key, I let myself into the cabin, quickly throwing the damp clothing over the back of the kitchen chair and flopping across the bed.
What the hell had happened?
Last night had been the most incredibly intense, amazing experience of my life. I’d honestly never understood lust before, and now that I had tasted it, all I could think about was getting more and more.
As I had fallen asleep in Ray’s arms, his sweet words echoing in my ears, I had somehow believed that we could start a real relationship.
But as soon as I had looked around his bedroom in the light of morning, listening to him making breakfast with the music on…there was something so domestic about it. It was unbelievably sweet but it was just too fast. We barely knew each other, and he wanted us to go grocery shopping together?
I had no point of reference for what was considered normal.
Since Ray was probably in his mid to late thirties, he’d likely done that sort of thing before. He must be used to women wanting to stick around and spend as much time with him as possible.
Taking off the way I did…good grief. I was the rudest person in the world.
Grabbing my notebook, I forced myself to scribble three pages about the lack of manners in today’s society tearing us all apart. I had no idea if there was a song there, but if I could make it light, and a bit funny, there might be something to go on.
Spending the day with my notebooks, granola bars and tea, I tried to move as little as possible. My ankle and shoulders were a bit achy from the way I had fallen out in the rain, but there were other little muscles, some of them internal, that definitely had a workout last night. My hips felt stiff, and every time I shifted I was reminded of last night.
How could I have gone my entire twenty-two years without knowing that I craved having a man slightly overpower me? How could I not have known that I needed to feel powerful with him as well?
It felt like he had lost himself with me. That was so exciting and amazing I started to twitch just thinking about it.
What the ever-living hell was I going to do? I had probably offended him terribly, and he might not want to give me a second chance.
But I couldn’t let him think I was just going to step into whatever role he had decided on for me. He had said something about being a terrible boyfriend. I had absolutely no clue how to be a girlfriend.
People dated and hung out, but I had no idea what the actual obligations wer
e when you got right down to it. I worked long hours at the rehearsal space, then long hours creating my own music at home. Now that I was done with school, I often spent Friday and Saturday nights out watching live bands, or hanging out with my friends in one of our apartments, or blissfully alone.
If Ray and I did go out, would he expect me to drop everything to make time for him? Would he want to come hang out while I was working?