My obsession with being a cool, modern man had dissolved completely. The only man I ever
wanted to be now was Kim’s. Feeling her soft, curvy body curled around me as I slid gently
inside her had left me feeling transformed.
As I looked into her brilliantly sharp eyes, Kim’s open mouth as she made soft choked little
noises of pleasure had transformed me completely. Clamping my lips shut, I had swallowed
the words that wanted to bubble out of me for the first time ever. I love you. I need you.
Please, I’ll do anything to be your man.
Then she had suddenly left, leaving me feeling like the biggest jackass on the planet, but I
didn’t know why. It felt like a block of ice was melting in my stomach, making every organ
numb. What had I done? How could I have offended her?
That was the most deeply primal and romantic sex I could have ever imagined. Was she
upset that it was too soon? She had seemed so into it. Her eyes had been absolutely
begging me, and there’s no way I could have misread that.
I tried to recall every detail of our conversation just before she left in such a hurry. I’d been mentioning what a great vacation it was, with us finding each other, and her work going
well.
An uncomfortable prickle gathered between my shoulder blades. Was she upset that I had
told her I wanted to be her boyfriend without asking permission? Making that sudden
announcement was intended to be dramatic but amusing.
My feelings for her were completely obvious, and there was no way for me to hide it or
tone it down. But I couldn’t quite think of anything else that would have scared her off.
Maybe it was all too much too fast, and she was just overwhelmed. Kim did seem to
> bounce back and forth between confident and shy. She was so well-spoken and bright that
it was easy to forget that she was so young.
Was I coming on too strong? I had been mentioning other restaurants we should check out,
and a few exclusive cocktail lounges. But that was just conversation, not specifically
planning for our future together.
If I had to make the choice at this second, I would move her in with me and propose
immediately. But that would obviously freak her out.
For the first time ever, I pulled up my laptop and prepared to do some online stalking.
Although I felt completely dirty about it, I knew that’s what everyone did these days.