My buddy throws me a look.
“Girl, are you sure? I don’t want hearing about his nasty habits to make you feel more ill.”
I force a smile.
“No, really, it doesn’t bother me—"
But that’s when my stomach rolls and twists, and I practically shove Janie out of my way getting up from the couch. Covering my mouth with my hands, I run to the bathroom as fast as I can, my footsteps pounding with urgency. Then I fly into the bathroom and drop to my knees in front of the toilet before spewing a series of ugly brown chunks.
“Fuck!” I choke before retching again. “Ughhh!”
Janie rubs my back in small circles as she holds my hair out of my face.
“You’re good, girlfriend. Let it all out.”
It feels like I’ve been in the bathroom for hours from the way I’m sweating and trembling, but I know it’s really only been a couple minutes of this wretched heaving. Then I sit back, totally exhausted, my forehead sheened with sweat. What the hell? What was that about?
Meanwhile, Janie gets up and goes to the sink. Grabbing a cup, she fills it with water before crouching down in front of me.
“Here,” she hands me the cup, “drink this and maybe you’ll feel better.
“Thanks, girl.”
The cool water feels good going down my irritated throat. While I swallow, Janie sits down next to me and begins wiping my forehead and cheeks with a damp washcloth.
“Do you feel any better now?”
I sag against the tile wall.
“Yeah, a bit, but I feel really drained. Like I didn’t get any sleep last night, but I did. In fact, I even slept in today for no reason.”
Janie chews the inside of her lip as she looks at me, and I’ve known my buddy long enough to know she’s stewing over something.
“Janie, just say whatever you want to say. I know you’re trying to hold back, but you’re doing that lip chewing thing you do whenever you’ve got something on your mind. You can just say what you’re thinking.”
She purses her lips and I know she’s stalling.
“Janie. Just let it out.”
She sighs.
“Okay, I was just wondering if you’ve felt any of this before today?”
“What do you mean? Of course not. I don’t have a chronic disease or anything.”
But my friend shakes her head, her brown eyes concerned.
“That’s not what I mean. I mean, is today the first day in the last couple weeks you’ve slept in or felt more tired than usual? Or been nauseous? And have you been eating a lot?”
How does she know? I mean, I wasn’t sick, but there have been a couple times where I’ve fallen asleep after getting comfortable sitting on the couch during the day, which is way out of character for me. Usually, I’m filled with energy.
I frown.
“I’ve taken a few unplanned naps over the last two weeks, but that’s not crazy or anything. And I guess I’ve slept in more than usual too, just not as late as today.”
Janie shoots me a look.
“What about your stomach? Before today has anything felt odd?”
I think for a moment.
“Yeah, I guess so. I didn’t think about it, but I have felt a little queasy a couple times early in the morning. It’s no big deal or anything though. The queasiness would pass, and then I’d start dog-walking, just like I always do.”
Janie sighs and shakes her head.
“Yeah, but you know what this all points to right?”
I shake my head.
“No. What?”
She sighs again.
“I know you’ve been having a lot of fun with your hot new neighbor. Have you been using protection? Like all the time?”
Laughing because I don’t know what else to do, I look at her and nod.
“Yes of course! Me and Logan are always really careful.”
She narrows her eyes and pins me with a stare.
“Really, Ems? Because that crazy laugh, and the buggy eye twitch you’ve got going on right now makes me think that maybe you aren’t so sure about that. You said things with Logan Henley have been hot, wild, and totally unstoppable. So during all that excitement, have you been using protection every single time? One hundred percent?”
Suddenly, realization comes crashing down and my face falls.
“Shit.”
Suddenly my chest feels tight and I start gasping for air, but no matter how much oxygen I suck in, I can’t freaking breathe. This can’t be real.
My buddy leans over me, rubbing my shoulders.
“It’s okay, Em. Just inhale deep. Focus on me. Breathe in. Breathe out. You’re going to get yourself into a panic attack at this rate. Calm, calm.”
I nod and focus on breathing even as tears brim in my eyes. Holy shit! I feel dampness on my cheeks and when I try to wipe them away, I can’t because the tears are already beginning to stream.
“It was only a couple times,” I croak, voice breaking. “We usually use protection, I swear.”