Or he’s tortured and confused, just as unsure whether or not this is a good idea as I am. I’ve put him in a sticky situation. He’s a methodical man, that much is obvious. The guy has probably made a spreadsheet of all the pros and cons of indulging me tonight by meeting me here. It’ll be hours from now before he finally deduces that it’s a totally terrible fucking idea.
We could’ve met at his cabin.
Perfectly reasonable.
But then we’re just a short walk across the yard from prying eyes. Not to mention how it’d look if someone steps out to check the circuit breaker if the lights in the bathroom go out, as they so often do. Then they could notice something going on in the cabin, notice I’m not on my spot on the couch, and then put two and two together. That’s two and two I’d rather not be put together. Mental note: we really should call out a damned electrician about that bathroom circuit that keeps tripping.
I didn’t even bring my phone. I got here in such a hurry, I left the thing stuffed in between the couch cushions. What if he texts me? Doesn’t he have my number from my hiring paperwork or something? No, he wouldn’t text you. He’s too paranoid about having someone find out, and he’s never texted you before. Besides, all of my paperwork is probably in Gary’s office someplace. Harrison has nothing to do with that.
I think.
Maybe I don’t know as much as I think I know.
I hear the creak of a door. I turn, startled, only to realize it’s just the nightly wind blowing outside, causing things to move and stir. Fucking nature. I glance back at the horses, only to find them all far away, not one of them paying attention to me anymore.
Even they got bored of waiting to see what’s gonna happen.
My eyes close. I lean my head against the side of the barnyard door and cross my arms. With my heart still racing, I feel like I’m instantly slipping into a dream. I feel his lips touching my own in the toolshed. Then in his cabin the night before. I feel his hands on my shoulders, holding me in place, like he’s afraid I’ll run away. It is like some kind of magic spell, the way his kisses transport me to somewhere far, far away … free from people, free from society … a place for just the two of us, alone, with nothing but stars and cool breath and vastness around us.
His warmth is the only thing that keeps me from freezing.
His kiss is the one and only thing that keeps me from floating into outer fucking space.
All my life, I’ve wanted something this deep. This meaningful. This special. A guy all to myself. A guy who is my secret to keep. A guy who needs me as badly as I need him.
Someone who sees through my bullshit and doesn’t just fall victim to it. Someone who pushes me to be a better person.
Someone exactly like Harrison.
At first, it’s just a crunch of straw beneath feet. Then another. Then yet one more, softer, closer.
My eyes shoot open and I spin around.
Harrison stands there. Plain white t-shirt that looks like it was stitched onto his body, making his warm brown skin glow in the subtle moonlight coming in. Jeans that hug his muscular thighs—and I can only imagine what that does to his steely buns. Boots. No hat. His sensitive eyes sparkle. And he stands there, all of that, all of him, as if he just stepped out of my fantasies and came to life.
Oh my god. He actually came.
“This still isn’t a good idea,” he says.
I crack a smile, still in shock. “You came.”
“Doesn’t mean I think this is a good idea.”
I push away from the wall and come up to him. He doesn’t move. He doesn’t smile. He just watches me, his eyes shimmering and beautiful and ever-so serious.
I stop in front of him. “So … what do we do?”
His eyebrows pinch together. “Huh?”
“It’s just us … you and me. We’re all alone. Everyone’s asleep except the horses.” I cross my arms. “So what do we do?”
“You realize if Gary were to find us out here, or learn that we came out here and did anything in his barn …”
I snort. “C’mon, Harrison. He won’t know unless one of us tells him. Everyone’s asleep, like I said.”
“Still, if he finds out, or if someone else catches us here and—”
“You’re too paranoid. Hey.” I reach out and take hold of his arms, giving them a squeeze. He glowers at me in response. “Don’t worry about it. Trust me. We’re as alone as alone can be. Just us. And them horses out there.” I swallow hard, dropping my gaze to the ground for a second, then try again. “So tell me what to do.”