“You sent the cops to my home. That was your move; now I’ll make mine. When you leave here, you won’t be allowed back at the motel. All of your cards have been canceled, and your account is overdrawn. Felix now knows that he’s not your husband, so don’t expect to get any help from him, and before you forget, you’re not allowed to leave the state. There’s a homeless city a couple hours away from here, but you’ll have to walk. The car is gone. If you fuck with me or mine again, I’ll do worse.”
I got up and left because her grunts were indecipherable. I met Gianna on her way back and just took her hand and led her away. “Now, let’s really go for that ride.”
* * *
FELIX
* * *
I don’t know how long I sat there staring at the bare space where my wife’s portrait once hung. Victoria had left a while ago, kicking and screaming because the men outside, who I have yet to see, had taken the stuff she’d tried taking with her. She’d begged and pleaded with me to let her stay, and though my heart ached a little for the girl, I thought she was, but knowing what I know now, I couldn’t find it in me to care.
My head was a jumble of thoughts and mixed emotions. It’s not easy accepting how much of a failure I’d been, not only to my child but to my wife, who I’d promised to take care of her. I tried once again to recall when everything had changed. When had I started neglecting Gia? And why? It has to be more than just Becky’s words, surely.
But I couldn’t pinpoint a particular time or occurrence; it all seems to have just happened. It feels like one hit after another with no letup. First, learning that my wife had been murdered, and now the fact that I wasn’t even married to the monster who’d invaded our lives.
I want so badly to blame Becky for it all, but I’m afraid that would be a lie, and even so, I’d already lost my daughter. I’ve thrown up so much that there’s nothing left. The drink I’d poured myself sat untouched next to me; I didn’t have enough strength to raise the glass to my lips. But I needed to escape, oh how I wish I could. I’m afraid no amount of liquor is going to give me courage.
Beneath the sadness and sorrow laid a burning rage that I knew, once released, would have serious repercussions. I want to hurt someone, but who do I hurt when I’m the one most at fault? And how do I face myself in the mirror after this, let alone look at Gia ever again? She must hate me, didn’t she say I’d lost her already? What a mess, what a horrible mess.
I’ve really made a mess of things this time, and though I knew there was no point in me sitting here feeling sorry for myself, I can’t seem to dredge up the energy for anything else. The longer I sat there replaying the last decade in my head, the more the hate grew. It wasn’t long before a thought started forming in my head. It won’t change what’s already been done, but it sure as hell would fix some of what I’d done wrong.
The more I thought of it, the more alive I felt. For the first time in, I don’t know how long I had a purpose, something to look forward to. And even though my body cried out for rest and my mind threatened to shut down, I left my seat and headed upstairs to my home office. It’s late, but I can get the ball rolling starting now.
Yes, this is the best thing I can do for my daughter, the child I’d failed so abominably. My only purpose now before I leave this world is to make sure that she’s okay, that the ones who hurt her and made to pay for what they’d done. So what if the whole world learns that I’d been made a fool of? It doesn’t matter. It’s the only thing that will satisfy me. I sat down in front of the computer and got to work. “Forgive me, Adrienne!”
VICTORIA
“What is this? Turn it off; I don’t want to see it.” This had to be another one of Gabe Russo’s sick twisted jokes.
“I’m sorry, Miss, but I’m afraid that’s not possible. If there is nothing else.” The stewardess bitch walked away like a drone leaving me seated next to this ass who kept going on and on about how he was going to make it up to me for being gone as if I care.
My body still shook with anger and humiliation at the way I’d been treated, but the kernel of fear I feel in my gut stems from the fact that my money was gone. After Gabe and Gia left, I held onto that one thing, knowing that no matter what, at least I had my little nest egg. It was more than a few thousand dollars and more than enough to get me started over somewhere until I got back in the game.