Dragging my gaze from her, I looked over to where Malik was chained to one of the trees. His chin was down against his chest, but I knew he was awake.
And I was willing to bet that he was plotting his escape.
I didn’t know what to think when it came to Malik, but one thing was clear. He wasn’t loyal to Isbeth. It wasn’t the Blood Queen he sought to return to.
It was his heartmate.
Still, I didn’t think I could ever forgive him.
I wasn’t even sure I could forgive my parents for their lies.
Kieran drifted out of the night, coming to my side. He crouched beside me, his voice low. “I’ll watch over her.”
The fist of emotion clenched. “I don’t know if I want to speak to him.”
Kieran eyed Malik, his jaw tense. “You don’t want to, but you need to, and you should.”
“Was that supposed to be wise advice?”
“Someone has to impart wisdom around here.”
I smirked, letting my hand fall from my mouth. “Hopefully, we find a person to take on that role.”
Kieran chuckled quietly as he glanced at Poppy. “You know, she never slept like this when you were gone. She hardly slept at all. And when she did, there wer almost always nightmares. I think that’s why she sleeps so deeply now. Her body is trying to make up for the loss.”
I closed my eyes.
Hearing all of that… Fuck, it was a kick to the heart. I reached over, my fingers grazing her cheek just so I could feel her. “If I could take back any pain she suffered, I would.”
“But you wouldn’t change a thing you did.”
“No.”
He let out a heavy sigh. “What Reaver said earlier…”
I turned my head to him, a faint sliver of moonlight cutting across his cheek and one eye. “The Joining?”
Kieran nodded. “Reaver wasn’t even sure if it would block a Primal curse.”
“It could, though.”
A long moment passed as he stared down at Poppy. “I don’t want either of you to feel like you have to do that for me. We’ll find Malec, and then we’ll kill that bitch.”
I studied him. The line of his jaw was hard. Set. Determined. I’d seen that expression a thousand times. Like when we left for Solis to find the Maiden. He hadn’t been on board with the idea, but he’d stood beside me the entire time. As resolved then as he was when I’d ordered him to remain in Atlantia while I went on my idiotic quest to kill the Blood Queen and King all those years ago. I knew the slight rise of his lips meant that he was reluctantly amused, something I’d seen a lot of when he was first around Poppy. I knew what he looked like when he was furious and when he’d been ripped apart by grief. I’d seen him go utterly cold. Empty. I knew his face well enough to know when he looked upon someone he cared deeply about. Those fine, barely noticeable lines of tension around his mouth disappeared. Kieran softened. He’d done that when he looked at Elashya—whenever he spoke of her. He softened in almost the same way now when he looked upon Poppy.
I reached over, clasping his shoulder. “We are not brothers of the same blood. We are not friends due to some bond,” I told him, and his gaze met mine. “We are not loyal to each other because of courtesy or tradition or title. We have always been above all that. And, in a lot of ways, we’re two halves of the same whole. Different than Poppy and me, but not that much different. You know that.”
Kieran closed his eyes.
“Poppy and I have spoken about it.”
“I figured that’s what you were off doing.” He paused. “Well, one of the things I figured you two were off doing.”
I grinned as I watched him. “When it comes to the Joining, it’s not because we feel as if we need to. It’s because we want to,” I told him. “It’s for you as much as it will be for us.”
Kieran swallowed again. “I just wanted you to know—wanted her to know—that I don’t expect it.”
“We both know that.”
He cleared his throat. “So, you did talk about it?”
“We did.” I squeezed his shoulder. “And you know what our answer is—what she decided.”
“I do.” Kieran’s eyes opened. “And how do you feel about that?”
“You know how I feel about it.”
A grin appeared. “Intrigued?”
“I’m always in a state of constant intrigue when it comes to her,” I admitted.
“Yeah,” he breathed, looking down at her. “I bet she had so many questions.”
I grinned. “All valid ones you probably secretly wished she’d asked you so you could feel useful.”
Kieran laughed under his breath. “Yeah, I do.”
“I wanted her to take the time to make sure this is what she wants,” I told him, and he nodded. “If she still wants to do the Joining, we’ll do it when we return from the Blood Forest.”