I cupped her chin and kissed her. “Careful. This big rusty anchor knows exactly how to shut that mouth of yours.”
“You’re sure you want it shut?” she asked with one raised eyebrow. “You seemed to enjoy putting your cock into it last night.”
I clenched my jaw. And just like that, I was completely turned on. She could activate my libido like she had a fucking light switch at her disposal. One flick of her finger and I was blind with need.
I crawled over her on the couch, lifting her beer to set it on the coffee table. We kissed, but she wasn’t matching the intensity of my kisses. I found myself slowing down, kissing her as tenderly as she was kissing me. We took it slow for the first time, spending several minutes just kissing and lying together, hands slowly wandering each other’s bodies.
When I slid on a condom and took her, I found myself still moving with that purposeful tenderness. It felt completely different. I looked into her eyes while I guided myself into her again and again, the only sounds the slickness of her arousal and her soft breaths dusting my chest.
“Oh, Grey,” she whispered.
I bent my neck, touching my forehead to hers. I kissed her again as I fucked her slowly. She came under me, her body clenching and her moans spilling into my mouth. I groaned, climaxing along with her. I sank down, letting most of my weight rest on her without even pulling myself free of her warm sex.
She looked up sleepily at me. “That was different.”
I felt a sudden lump of discomfort in my throat. “I must be tired,” I said, trying to brush off the obvious significance of what we’d just shared. I didn’t feel remotely tired. In fact, I felt completely buzzed. I felt like I wanted to say and do several very stupid things to make sure I didn’t let this perfect girl slip out of my grasp.
Her disappointment was visible for a flash before she covered it with a smile. “It’s okay. I should be going. The kids will be back soon, right?”
I could feel myself getting closer to her and distancing myself at the same time. It was like emotional vertigo. Even as my cock was inside her and her eyes were on mine, I could feel myself pulling away. This was too good. Too real. Too fucking perfect.
It was too tempting. Harper could make me sacrifice too much. If I wasn’t careful, I’d wind up making an excuse to stay in Fairhope just a little while longer. My job back home would suffer. My kids would go back to the city without me, and I’d only get to see them when I flew out.
“Yeah,” I agreed. “You should go.” I tried not to, but I bent to kiss her again before I could stop myself.
Harper smiled up at me, and I could feel my heart throbbing from the knowledge of what I needed to do. What I needed to figure out how to do.
25
GREYSON
I texted Harper and let her know she didn’t need to come by for the next few days after the other night. It had been almost a week, and I was officially a fucking coward. I was afraid to invite her over again, even just for sex, because I still vividly remembered how hard it was not to get sucked in.
I’d spent the last few mornings jogging around Fairhope. I ran until I was too exhausted to think of her, but the memories came spilling back as soon as I got in the shower. So I’d fuck my hand to the memory of being with her and buy myself an hour or two of clear thoughts.
The only defense against Harper was to keep her from my mind. So I tried everything I could think of to do exactly that. But I knew it was only a temporary escape. Soon, the restaurant would be open, and she’d be working where I was living. I’d be seeing her all the fucking time, and there wouldn’t be any more escapes. I needed to figure out a way to get my shit together before that happened.
Deep down, I knew what I should do. I should cut off the casual sex with her. I needed to put it in clear terms so neither of us felt tempted anymore. We could focus on work and put all this behind us. But it was like I said. I was a fucking coward, and I was weak. Because I was running from the way she made me feel and I also wasn’t willing to close the door on it.
I dropped the kids off with Katie when she finally got back from Matt’s “emergency.” Her boyfriend and his bagless eyes were now in Fairhope, and the kids were there until the weekend. I should’ve been calling Harper over to spend the next four days in bed with her. Instead, I was avoiding my phone, windows, and trying to pretend she didn’t exist.