I jerked my head up. “No. I was, uh, buying shit paper on Amazon.”
Liam snorted.
“You can do that?” Joel leaned over to look at my phone. “Well, I’ll be damned. And it’s cheaper. Gotta tell that to the wife.”
“Earning brownie points for the next time you shoot a hole in the garage door?” I grinned. Three weeks ago, he’d accidentally discharged one of his hunting rifles and sent the bullet flying into the garage door where it’d embedded itself in a thick piece of metal.
“Still haven’t heard the end of it,” he muttered, turning back to the coffeemaker that had seen better days. “She reckons I could’ve killed someone. I told her it would’ve killed the neighbors and I would’ve done the entire cul-de-sac a damn favor.”
Liam picked up his coffee. “I’m not sure that’s a good thing to say to a retired police officer.”
“She agreed,” Joel replied dryly. “Their dog still thinks our front yard is its toilet. Caught the grandson almost eating its crap the other day.”
“Were you trying to hit the neighbor or their dog when you ‘accidentally’ fired the rifle?” I teased.
“Hey. You’ll be on toilet duty if you keep that up, newbie.” He pointed a thick, weathered finger at me. “Remember your place.”
“I’m on toilet duty,” I replied with a dry tone of my own. “It’s on the roster.” I slid the bit of paper over toward him. “You drew it up.”
He swiped it up and looked at it. “I did this last month. I don’t know what I watched on TV last night.” He tossed it back at me and I grabbed it before it dunked into my coffee. “Good catch. You shoulda played baseball.”
“I did,” I replied. “But I decided that running into burning buildings would be more fun than earning millions of dollars.”
Liam choked as he laughed at me.
Joel narrowed his eyes and wiggled a finger. “You put your sassy pants on today.”
“I don’t think they come in my size, Chief.”
“I knew I should have retired last year. That stupid psychic my wife makes me go to said my life was about to get difficult.”
“That was probably about the neighbors, not Noah.” Finn walked into the kitchen and joined us, dumping his backpack by the door. “’Cause if he’s more difficult than the neighbors, Chief, you shoulda fired him already.”
I grinned. “He’s right.”
“You boys.” Joel shook his head and picked up his mug. “I don’t know how I put up with you.”
“You love us really.” Finn smirked.
“Like a hole in the head,” he muttered in response. “Y’all finish those coffees and get your butts downstairs. We got trainin’ to do. Burning buildings don’t put themselves out.”
“And thank God, because if they did, I’d still be living with my mother,” Liam murmured when Joel left the room.
Me and Finn laughed.
“So.” Finn hit the button on the coffeemaker and looked over at me. “My sister saw you having lunch with Reagan Wright yesterday.”
“We’re friends,” I replied.
“Didn’t Reagan live in the building that burned down last week?” Liam leaned forward. “My ex used to live there and I swear I saw her there several times.”
“Think so,” Finn asked. “Not sure. I haven’t spoken to her since high school.”
I knew where this was going.
“Yeah,” I said before they could reminisce about Reagan in high school. “She did live there. I was the one who actually got her out.”
Liam’s eyebrows shot up. “And now you’re friends?”
I shrugged. “I don’t go for lunch with strangers.” I wasn’t going to expand on the rest of the story about how we knew each other. It was partially their faults.
“And you just happened to have her number?”
“Jesus Christ, what is this? An interrogation?” I finished the rest of my coffee. “I’ve been in town six months. Is it that unbelievable to think that our paths might have crossed at some point?”
Finn hit me with a look. “You fucked her, didn’t you?”
“Shit—no.” I shook my head emphatically and put my mug in the sink. “Haven’t even kissed her.” Not for a lack of wanting to, though. “Like I said; we’re friends. There’s nothing more to it.”
“All right.” He leaned back against the kitchen counter. “You’re being real defensive for ‘just friends.’ If you haven’t fucked her, you definitely want to.”
Liam nodded, closing his eyes. “I’d fuck her.”
“I’d fuck her seven ways to Sunday,” Finn said. “She’s hot as hell.”
“Thought you said you hadn’t spoken to her since high school.” I pocketed my phone.
“I haven’t,” Finn replied. “But I don’t need to talk to her to know I’d like to fuck her.”
“Damn right.” Liam slammed his empty coffee mug on the table. “C’mon. Let’s go before Joel kicks our asses.”
Sometimes, I wondered if it would have been easier to be born a woman.
There was no way women talked this crudely about guys, was there?