In fact, old people had a lot in common with toddlers—at least in my experience. They needed help visiting the bathroom, got grumpy when they were hungry, and said your name repeatedly until you answered.
Or maybe that was just Grandpa Ernie.
Who was currently slurping spaghetti while wearing a napkin as a bib.
Yep. He was an overgrown toddler.
“What’s up, Grandpa?” I asked, joining everyone at the table. “Hey, Dad, Kirsty.”
“Hey, son. How was work?” Dad asked, looking up from the paper he was reading. “Still down at the old Hawkins place?”
I nodded, reaching for some bread as Mom put a steaming plate of spaghetti in front of me. “We’re putting the roof on the new barn now. We should be done with it by next week.”
“How’s Sam?”
“As ornery as ever,” Kirsty replied before I could. “I was out there yesterday to interview him about the market to see if he’d be bringing some of his produce, and he told me to have my people call his people.”
I eyed her. “You’re the junior reporter. You are the newspaper’s people.”
She stuck her tongue out at me, earning herself a quick slap around the back of the head from Mom.
“Let’s say grace.” Mom clasped her hands together, forcing all of us—except Grandpa—to do the same. “Lord, we thank you for this food you blessedly provided us, and I hope that you send a nice young lady the way of my son. Amen.”
Yeah, and hopefully she was Australian.
“I don’t think he’s listening, Nadia,” Grandpa Ernie said, pausing to slurp on a long piece of spaghetti. “You’ve been praying to the man upstairs for a girlfriend for Mason every day for three months, and he’s still single.”
“That’s by choice, Grandpa. Not even God can override free will,” I said. “Much to Mom’s displeasure.”
“He has a point, honey,” Dad said, grabbing a piece of garlic bread from the plate in the middle of the table. “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. You could put Mason in the middle of a speed dating circuit, and he’d still not find anyone he wanted to date.”
“You’re saying it like I’m taking up the vow of a priest.” I grabbed my own bit of garlic bread and split it in two. “I don’t know how many times we have to have this conversation.”
“Until you meet someone, darling,” Mom said as if it was the simplest thing in the world.
“I’m not the only single one here, you know. Kirsty’s single.”
“Yes, but she’s three years younger than you.”
“Give the kid a break, Nadia,” Grandpa Ernie said, wiping his mouth with a napkin and reaching for his whiskey. “He’s only twenty-eight. Men don’t have alarm clocks in their genitals like you women.”
I spat out my water, and my sister did the same.
Mom looked wide-eyed at him. “Dad! That’s inappropriate for the dinner table!”
He cackled. He’d said it deliberately because he knew it would rile her, and that was mission accomplished.
“Actually,” Kirsty said. “I do have some news on the dating front.”
I raised my eyebrow at her. “You’re dating someone? Do I need to send him my condolences?”
Mom shot me a glare before turning to her. “You’re dating?”
“No.” Kirsty snorted. “But Mason is. He’s just not telling you.”
I froze as four pairs of eyes all landed on me. What the fuck was she playing—
Oh, no.
She was not going to bring up Lauren, was she?
I met her eyes. They glinted. She was. She fucking was.
“Kirsty, shut up,” I said, teeth gritted.
“You’re dating?” Mom’s head jerked between the two of us until she made even me feel dizzy. “Who is she? Is it serious? How long has this been going on?”
“Nadia, calm down,” Dad said. “If he doesn’t want to share, he doesn’t want to share.”
“I’ll share,” Kirsty input.
“No, you won’t.” I glared at her.
“Her name is Lauren. They met not long ago, and he took to her to his reunion on Friday.” The words escaped her so quickly that it took everyone a moment to catch up with what she’d said.
I was going to kill her.
Slowly and fucking painfully.
“Is she hot?” Grandpa Ernie asked, licking his fingers as he fixed his dark blue eyes on me.
“Dad!” Mom admonished. “Mason, why didn’t you tell us you were seeing this girl?”
“Because he’s a grown man and he can keep parts of his life to himself,” Dad drawled. “I know that’s a foreign concept to you, honey, but it’s a thing.”
“Well, I’m not saying I need a play-by-play! But it would be nice to meet this young lady.”
“He’ll introduce us if and when he wants to.” Dad poured more water in his glass. “Don’t pressure him or he’ll run off and never speak to us again.”
That was tempting right now.
“No, he won’t. I’m not out of line by asking about her.”
“Is she hot?” Grandpa repeated, ignoring their bickering. “I don’t blame you keeping her secret if she’s hot. I’m a bit of a stud. Are you worried she’ll run off with me instead?”