Nodding, Matthew pushed up to standing and held his hands out to me.
I stared at them.
I was frozen.
I couldn’t move.
“Do you want me to look?”
I tilted my head up and nodded, feeling a thick lump forming in my throat. “I already know,” I whispered.
He held my gaze for a moment, confusion flickering through his eyes, before he went into the bathroom. The sound of the drawer opening was like a screech as the runner squeaked, and I once again tightly hugged my knees.
My phone buzzed in my hand, and I tilted the screen towards me to see what it is.
It was a text.
From my sister.
ADELAIDE: Not pregnant.
I put my phone face down on the floor and brought my arm back around my shins, resting my chin between my knees. It was the perfect space for it, really, and I stared intently at the dark wood panelling, tracing the bevelled lines with my gaze.
Matthew’s footsteps were heavy against the wooden floor, and his voice was the softest I’d ever heard it when he said, “Eva, I think you’re squashing the baby sitting like that.”
“I think you sorely underestimate the position of a uterus in a woman’s body.” I held out my hand, and he put the test between my fingers. I clasped it tightly, then slowly brought it in front of me.
Yes.
It was there.
In the little square box.
Pregnant.
“Do you think your grandma will give me the lottery numbers for this weekend?”
Matthew laughed, sitting down next to me. “Funny, Alex said the same thing at four a.m.”
“Alex can sod off. My grandmother-in-law, my lottery numbers.” I put the test down on the floor between us.
I wasn’t able to take my eyes off it.
That word—that one word. The one I knew I’d see. The one that’d been rattling around my head all morning like some kind of weird intuition.
Pregnant.
I was pregnant.
Of course I knew this would happen eventually, and we had talked extensively about it, but somehow… I didn’t feel quite prepared for it.
Were you ever really prepared to find out you were growing a human being? That you’d be responsible for it for the rest of your life?
No pressure, right?
“Are you all right?” Matthew asked quietly.
I nodded. “I knew.”
“That’s not what I asked you.”
“I’m all right. Honestly.” I lifted my gaze to him. “You must be happy.”
“I’m more concerned about you,” he replied, cupping my chin. “You know you can tell me the truth.”
I sighed. “All right, I’m not unhappy, okay? I’m just really, really not looking forward to telling your nan.”
He dropped his hand to my knee and squeezed it with a light chuckle. “She’s going to be pretty insufferable for a good hour, then she’ll get distracted.”
“Great. I can’t wait.” My phone buzzed again, and I picked it up and looked at it. “Adelaide wants to know.”
“I’m assuming hers was negative.”
“It was. I suppose I’ll have to—” I stopped and looked up at the sound of footsteps.
Eleanor was coming towards us, dressed smartly in wide-legged trousers and a pretty purple blouse with a pussy bow tied at her neck. She did a double take when she saw us both sitting on the ground. “Is this a party one needs an invitation to, or can anyone join?”
I glanced at Matthew, and he shrugged.
“Go ahead,” I said, motioning to the other side of the hallway. “Your trousers might get dirty, though.”
“There are worse things in life than dirty trousers, dear. That’s what washing machines are for.” Eleanor lowered herself to the wooden floor. “Goodness, this isn’t the most comfortable place to sit, is it?”
“Not particularly, no.”
She looked pointedly at the test between us, then raised her eyebrows, meeting my gaze. “Am I right to suspect that it’s the most comfortable you’ll be for a while, though?”
I took a deep breath and nodded. “Ffion was right, as it turns out.”
A smile slowly crept across her face. “I’m going to be a nana?”
The pure joy that shone in her eyes sent a flood of warmth through me. I was absolutely terrified at what the future would hold, but the happiness that emanated off Eleanor was enough to hold that terror at bay for a moment.
“You’re going to be a nana,” I said, unable to fight my smile anymore.
She cupped her hands over her mouth, and I barely got a glimpse at the tears that filled her eyes before she crawled across the hallway on her knees and wrapped us both in a hug.
The hug lasted forever until she finally sniffed and pulled back, wiping at her eye.
“Oh, goodness,” she said, sitting back. “I need to change my trousers. They’re all dusty. Excuse me.”
I watched with my smile still in place as she got up and hurried down the hall, going back in the same direction she’d come from.
“Her trousers weren’t dirty,” Matthew said, looking at me. “What’s she on about?”