I squeezed my eyes shut. My mind was whirring a mile a minute, and I could barely take in the words he was saying to me. “I can’t leave,” I finally managed to eke out.
Matthew pulled back but kept his hands on my face. “Why not?”
I pushed his hands way and stepped back, exhaling on a shudder that wracked my whole body. The words were there, on the tip of my tongue, and the longer they stayed there, the longer I had to grasp the reality of the situation.
“Eva, what is it?”
I steeled my spine and looked up at him. Tension tightened my entire body, and my stomach was braided into a thousand nauseous knots of anxiety and uncertainty.
“I couldn’t leave. Even if I wanted to,” I said, meeting his eyes. “My period is late, Matthew.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
MATTHEW
I froze.
Had she just said what I thought she’d said?
Her period was late?
My heart thudded against my ribs, and I stared at her. “Are you—” I trailed off, swallowing hard.
“I don’t know,” she replied, shifting her weight from one foot to another. “I told Adelaide I’d take a test with her tomorrow if we’re both still late.”
“Do you think you’re pregnant?”
“I don’t know.”
“Can’t you take a test now?”
She shook her head. “It’s better to take one in the morning when the hormones are strongest. It’ll have to be tomorrow.”
I didn’t know what to think. Of course, this potential scenario was the entire reason behind us getting married in the first place, but I also knew Eva wasn’t quite ready for a baby.
She’d barely been on the island five minutes, and I absolutely respected her wish to settle in and find her feet before we brought a baby into this.
I always had, but these wild feelings I’d developed for her meant that had increased tenfold.
Now, with all of this considered, I wanted to wrap her up in my arms and protect her. There was no way I could take away or even ease whatever it was she was feeling right now, and there was also no way I could even begin to understand what was going through her mind.
I didn’t know what to do.
That was the bottom line of this.
All the things I wanted to do, I couldn’t. If Eva was pregnant, there wasn’t a thing I could do to change that situation. I couldn’t change how she felt, I couldn’t make it easier for her, and I couldn’t do anything but be there.
I guessed that was all I could do right now. I had to push my own feelings to the side—they could be figured out later.
Right now, Eva was my priority.
She had to and would always come before me.
I stepped towards her and wrapped my arms around her body. Her arms fell away and circled my waist, and she pressed her face into my chest. I held her as tightly as I could, and the tension that was in her body seemed to melt away a little bit.
I sighed softly and pressed my lips to the top of her head, kissing her hair. No matter what happened, everything would be all right. I was sure of that much.
“There’s nothing we can do right now,” I said quietly, keeping my arms tight around her. “Not until we know for sure tomorrow.”
“I know. I don’t even know why I’m like this.”
“Because I just scared the ever-loving crap out of you by telling you how I feel, I’d guess.”
She made a peculiar little noise that was somewhere between a grunt and a squeak. “Something like that.”
I laughed quietly and stroked the back of her hair. “I’m sorry if—”
“Stop apologising,” she muttered, pulling back and tilting her face up towards me. “You don’t need to apologise for being honest. You are not responsible for my emotions, okay? I just… can’t deal with all of them right now.”
She was right, really. I wasn’t responsible for how she reacted to what I said—I was only responsible for ensuring that what I did and said didn’t hurt her in any way.
I hoped that my words hadn’t done that, although knowing Eva, she’d be sure to tell me if it did.
That wasn’t a conversation to press right now, though. No matter how badly I wanted to ask her if she’d leave if the test was negative, I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
The fact that she hadn’t told me to fuck right off gave me a little hope that perhaps I wasn’t the only one feeling these things.
“What do you want to do now?” I questioned. “Do you want to go home?”
“So your nan can ask me one hundred and one questions? I’m starting to think she’s a walking pregnancy detector, Matthew.”
“So no to home.” I tried not to laugh. “We can go and get a milkshake. Are you thirsty?”
She shrugged.
“Are you hungry?”