She laughs, standing as well. “Can I cross one more boundary and say something else?”
“You’re going to do it either way, aren’t you?”
“Probably,” she grins. “Look, I know it’s been awhile since you’ve really spent a lot of time with Ford. It’s been years, Graham says.”
“Almost ten.”
“Right. So, I wanted you to know that while I don’t know what Ford was like growing up, I do know him now. He’s a giant pain-in-my-butt, eats all the pie, and routinely gets Graham so worked up that I think he’s going to have a heart attack and die.”
Despite the words out of her mouth, Mallory has a smile stretched from ear to ear.
“He’s also ridiculously intelligent, funny as hell, and the kindest Landry in the bunch.” Mallory’s voice softens. “No one has a bigger heart than Ford. No one looks at people and immediately sees the good, not the bad, like him. He’s pretty special, Ellie. I wouldn’t have sent him your way if he wasn’t.”
My shoulders slump. “I spent so many years being mad at him. Venomously angry at first, then more bitter, I guess, as time went on. It’s weird now to see him face-to-face after having felt that way for such a long time.”
“I bet it does, and I didn’t think about that.”
I drag in a deep breath and blow it out, hoping to push away some of the confusion in my brain. “When I hated him, at least I knew how to deal with that. It was almost safe, in a way. But now . . .”
“Now what?”
“Now I’m not sure how I feel.”
It’s the most honest thing I can think of to say. After mulling it over for hours, having his smile flit through my mind at random times, hoping I run into him at the gas station—I don’t want to know if I want to know how I feel.
“Liking him is too easy,” I concede. “It’s that boyish grin that does me in.”
“Not that I’m looking because I’m not, but it might be his body that does me in if I were you,” she winks.
I can’t help but laugh, knowing just how right she is. But physical attraction isn’t my problem. I’m a red-blooded female, after all. The problem is something deeper, something more difficult to see.
“Let me ask you something, Mal.”
“Sure. Anything.”
“Is he really the good person you say he is? What I mean by that is does he date a lot? Does he go through women like crazy? You know, is he nice to people?”
Holding my breath as she considers my question, I wonder if she’ll be completely truthful. Will she try to sell me on the guy she likes or will she dig deep and find the one time he was a jerk, like leaving a girl high and dry after he realizes he doesn’t want to be with her.
Like what he did to me.
Her features soften. “He hasn’t seriously dated anyone since I’ve known him. Sure, he’s been with girls but none that he’s brought around any of us. So that should answer that part of your question.”
“What about the other?” I ask, my chest tightening with anticipation.
“He’s the nicest guy I’ve ever met.”
The simplicity in her statement speaks louder than anything. It’s like those few words say everything she can say. There’s nothing else to add.
My shoulders sag at the sincerity in her tone. “That’s good to hear,” I whisper.
“I know getting involved with someone, anyone, is hard. You really put your heart out there and hope they treat it kindly. When I gave in to Graham, I remember hoping he wouldn’t treat me like a contract closure if he decided it didn’t work between us. I worried about that.”
“That’s the thing . . . Ford did treat me like that before. He didn’t want to be with me anymore and it was just like, ‘bye,’” I sigh. “I’ve had guys do that before, obviously. We all have. But he’s not just another guy. He’s Ford. He was my first love, my first everything, to be honest. There’s so much more tied up in things with him. A part of me feels stupid for even considering getting involved with him right now when Halcyon is getting off the ground, I just moved back home. Why invite the possible drama?”
“Life is complicated, Ellie. Look around at the people you know. Are any of their lives easy?”
“Yours seems pretty cush right now,” I tease.