Page 39 of Just Hold On

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Chapter 35

I spentthe last part of Thursday packing - and daydreaming. I couldn't help but compare the way J.D. had kissed me with the way Ty had. Both men were so confident. Both of them pulled me in like they knew exactly what they were doing, but there the similarities ended.

Ty kissed me like forever. J.D. kissed me like all that mattered was right now. Ty handled me like he was worried he'd go too far. J.D. pushed me around like he was daring me to keep up. In some ways, they reminded me of those little cartoon devils and angels that sat on people's shoulders. Then again, I couldn't exactly call Ty an angel, but compared to J.D., he kinda was.

Thankfully, all my dad asked was if I'd made sure they wouldn't get lost. He was so casual about it that I thought he might even be serious. Still, packing my life away for the next few months was going to take a little more than a few minutes. All my gear went into one bag - including a backup rope. My hat would go on my head, but I'd bought a straw one in case a bull ruined my Resistol. Then I had to pick clothes.

What I'd wear when riding was easy. I had Ty's black shirt still, and my new one. I tossed in another black and silver thing I had in the closet just so I had a spare. I really should've bought more than one of that shirt, so maybe I'd get Dad to stop on the way through Rolla tomorrow. But I wouldn't be riding bulls every day.

So, I pulled out another bag to fill with casual stuff. Shorts, a dress, some cute shoes, and plenty of shirt options went in there. I had a whole makeup bag now, thanks to Shelby, and more hair care products than I knew how to use. I picked out the bare necessities, put those with the shampoo and razors. By the time I was done, it was well past midnight, and I had five bags laying on the floor of my room.

Dad woke me the next morning with a fist pounding on the door. My alarm went off a split second later. Half an hour after that, we were loading up the truck and heading toward St. Louis. It was a four-hour drive, and stopping to get me a second shirt - since they only had one more in my size - took another 30 minutes, but we were still on track to make it there by two pm for check in.

While he filled up the tank with diesel, I got us both a coffee. Sometime after that, we both finally woke up. Then, around the halfway point, Dad decided it was time to start talking, and he wasn't interested in the weather.

"Cody," he started out, with that tone that said I wasn't at all ready for this. "Which one of those boys are you interested in?"

Thankfully, I didn't have my cup to my lips. "Uh, they're just friends, Dad."

"No, honey, they aren't. I just can't figure it out is all. I mean, it's pretty clear that at least four of them are into you."

"Four?" I squeaked.

He nodded. "J.D., Ty, Tanner, and Renato."

"No," I said vehemently. "Dad, Renato's with Hannah."

"Honey, that doesn't stop a rodeo man. If he steps up to defend your honor, then he's thinking things."

"Maybe for you, but Hannah, Dad. You know, the pregnant one with all the black? Even if Renato is interested, I'm not going there. Between pregnancy hormones and, well, her... I'm just not that dumb."

He chuckled. "Ok, then three."

"Dad, I'm pretty sure that Tanner isn't a problem either. He's nice, but we're just friends. I think he's gay, but don't you dare tell anyone that."

"Huh." My father nodded his head, eyes locked on the road. "So, means J.D. and Ty are in the running, huh?"

Ugh, I wanted to sink down in my seat. This was not what I wanted to talk to my father about. "Maybe?" I mumbled.

"Well, you make those boys chase you, sweetie. You make them prove themselves, ok? And I know you're on birth control, but that doesn't do anything for STDs, ok?"

"Dad!"

He shot me a look that made my mouth close real fast. "Listen to me, Cody Lane. You are twenty-two years old. I know you ain't a virgin, because Cole can't keep his damned mouth shut. Bastard's just lucky I'd get fired if I hit him at work. Still, I'm not stupid. I'm not tellin' ya not to do the same thing as those boys. I'm just saying that you'd better make sure that the fun of the moment doesn't last for eighteen years."

I just groaned and shoved both hands over my face, trying to decide if bailing out of the truck at highway speeds would hurt more than coming off a bull.

"And there's a whole lotta time to kill between shows. So, I want you to promise me that if you need someone to talk to, you'll call me, ok? I don't care how embarrassing you think it is. I'm your daddy, and there ain't nothing that's going to change that. And no matter what you think, I'm not going to be ashamed of you or upset with you, ok?"

"Dad," I begged.

"No, honey, I gotta say this, because it's real important." His hands tightened on the wheel, proving this was just as hard for him as it was for me. "Cody, I love you, baby girl. You're the best thing I ever did in my whole damned life, ok? And if you need me for anything? I mean anything, sweetheart, I'm there for you. I'll get my ass on a plane and come rescue you, because that's what daddies do for their little girls. I don't care if you're sixty, that rule still applies. If you come off a bull and sprain your wrist, you can talk to me. If you get hooked on painkillers afterwards, you can talk to me. And if you got boy problems, you can talk to me, ok? Doesn't even matter if it's you doing something I wouldn't. I mean, if you need someone to take you for an abortion or build a nursery, or if it's asking for an excuse because you got hurt being kinky, I'm here. And I'll blush like an idiot, but I'm still here, and I needed to say this before you're so far away that I can't find the time."

I slowly pulled my hands down and looked over to find he really was as red as a beet. I was pretty sure my face wasn't much better, but he wasn't done yet. He just had to pause long enough to swallow a few times.

"Don't you ever tell no one I said this, but you got two real impressive boys trying to catch your eye. And if you aren't sure if you like them, there ain't a damned reason you can't have a little fun. You sleep with one, sleep with the other, sleep with both - that's your call, not no one else's. I raised you to be just as good as any man, honey, and those boys sure as hell aren't worried about no small-town idiot saying they're a slut, so you'd better not be either."

"Dad," I breathed.

He looked over at me. "I mean that. I figure if you can handle getting thrown across the arena by Disco Breakout, then there ain't no damned cowboy out there that can break you. Just remember that when one of them tries to break your heart. Honey, you can always get back up, dust yourself off, and get on again. All you gotta do is just hold on, ok? Don't matter if that's holding on to a dream, to your pride, or maybe even to your old man waiting at home, watching every single ride you make. You just don't let anything change your mind but you. Promise?"

I couldn't help myself. I popped off my seat belt, flipped up the console, and slid over beside him to wrap my arm around his belly. It took me a minute to find any words, and damned if my eyes weren't feeling all misty, but I'd never loved my father more than I did in that minute.

"I promise, Daddy," I mumbled against his arm. "You're the best dad ever, you know that?"

"I'm just making it up as I go along, kiddo." He smiled at me. "And put on your damned seat belt."

I quickly scooted back over and did that. "How long have you known about Cole?" I asked.

"Couple of years now. Figured it was none of my business, since you're a grown-ass woman."

"Is he why you've been so worried about my PBR friends?"

He sighed. "Kinda. Cody, I just know that when Cole started running his mouth, you started getting bucked off. When he and his friends gave you hell, you got hurt. I know he slashed the tires on the truck, and yeah, I called him out on it. Thing is, I see these boys looking at you the same way. They're following you around, doing you little favors, and trying real hard to get noticed. Eventually, you're gonna notice them, and I don't want you getting hurt because of it, ok? I don't want you thinking that I'm gonna be upset with you for anything. Sleeping with them, not sleeping with them, or them trying to act like it don't take two to tango."

"Yeah," I agreed, "but we all know that the rules are different for girls when it comes to that."

Slowly, he turned to look at me. "Then change the rules, Cody. If you can get a spot on the PBR, there's not a damned good reason you can give me why you can't do anything else they do. If someone doesn't like it? Then fuck them. If they try to come after you, well, your daddy will be coming after them. Ok? And I honestly think that J.D. boy might get there first."

I laughed once. "Probably. He's got a screw loose, I think."

"Yeah, but I think it's loose the right way. Didn't expect to like him..." Dad bobbed his head a few times. "But I do. And well, that's kinda my point, kiddo. Sure, a whole lot of dads would look at that boy and think he's not good enough for their little girl, but I'm not most dads. I can see that he honestly gives a shit. And the other one, Ty? He's the kinda guy that once he settles down, he ain't going nowhere, ok? And as your dad, well, all I want is for you to end up with someone who makes you happy. I don't care about anything else about them. If they make you happy, then they'll make me happy, ok?"

"Ok," I agreed.

"Oh," he added, "and whatever you do, don't ride between events with the one you're sleeping with."

"Dad!"

"Hear me out. See, there are some places in a few states where the radio is sketchy and all there's time for is talking. If you wanna see a new relationship crash and burn, well, just lock yourself inside a moving truck with a man you barely know. Trust me, honey, it ain't pretty. So ride with your friend, talk bulls and checks. Then celebrate how much you missed your man when you get to the next town, ok?"

"Yeah, but -"

He grunted out a, "Nuh uh." Then looked at me again. "Cody, trust me on this. For the next month, at least, you do not wanna ride with the man you're dating. Tell him you promised your daddy, I don't care. And yeah, I'm really hoping you're gonna promise me this."

"Fine," I said, giving in because he'd just been so sweet. "For the next month, I can't ride with the guy I'm dating because my dad made me promise."

"That's my girl." He smiled at the road. "Damn, Cody, I am so fucking proud of you. My little girl is a professional bull rider. Making history, even."

"I'm not doing this to make history."

"Doesn't mean you aren't still doing it," he pointed out. "Kiddo, you're going to be a legend, you know that, right? And I'm going to get to show off pictures of you back when you were mutton bustin'. Who needs embarrassing grade school stuff? I got my little girl hanging onto sheep."

"Do not," I warned.

He grinned. "If you end up in the hospital, I'm bringing the photo album, and showing it to every one of those boys who comes in to check on you. I'm just sayin’, if you don't wanna be embarrassed, then you'd better hold on for all eight, kiddo."

"That," I promised, "I can do."


Tags: Kitty Cox Romance