Sure, I was jealous. But I was also fucking scared. And I definitely didn’t like feeling that way.
I walked over to her, not so much because I felt like I needed to be close to say what I needed to say, but because I hated to be on the other side of the room when I could be near her.
It was especially chilly outside today, and her cheeks were pink, matching the tip of her nose. I cupped her cold face into my hands and leaned down and planted a soft kiss on her lips.
Then I pulled back so we were at eye level. “I’m sorry for being a jealous jerk. I’d planned to tell you why it wasn’t my fault I was jealous—that my history and job made me this way—and maybe that’s part of it. But it’s not all of it. To be honest, the truth didn’t hit me until a few minutes ago.”
“And what’s that?”
“I need to hear where your head is with that guy. You followed him halfway across the country a few months ago. I know you had strong feelings for him. And if you say you’d tell me if you wanted out of this exclusive thing, I believe you. But what I need to know is, if he told you today he had feelings for you, would you be telling me you wanted out?”
Emerie stilled, a flash of something flickering across her face before our eyes locked. “Why don’t you sit?”
Emerie
Practice what you preach.
That was a tall order when Drew Jagger stared at you, waiting for an answer. He wanted to know what would happen if the man I’d been crazy about for the last few years, the man I’d moved to New York to take a chance on, suddenly decided he wanted to be with me. It was a question I’d been asking myself since both men left me alone with my thoughts last night.
I owed it to Drew to be honest. Heck, I owed it to myself.
“I’ve had feelings for Baldwin for so long, I don’t remember what it feels like to not have them.”
Drew leaned on the edge of my desk, his legs spread in a stance that was so inherently male and dominant—something so simple, yet it reminded me that what I was about to say was true.
“But whatever I’ve felt for Baldwin is very different than whatever is going on between us.”
Drew’s eyes flashed, and I had to squeeze my thighs to stop myself from getting excited about him growing angry. There was no doubt that pissing each other off was some kind of screwed-up foreplay for us, but this wasn’t the time for that.
“Baldwin is smart and courteous. We share a passion for psychology and sociology. He doesn’t use foul language, he takes me to fancy restaurants, and he’s never once raised his voice to me.”
Drew was brooding. “There better be a fucking but coming soon.”
My lip twitched. I needed to get through the hard part before I gave him his but. “There is. But I want to be completely honest.”
The look in his eyes told me to get to the point. He nodded for me to continue.
“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have feelings for Baldwin. But then there’s you. You confuse the hell out of me, and I have no idea where whatever is going on between us is going to land, but there’s one thing I’m sure of.”
“What’s that?”
“When I look at you, it makes me realize why it would have never worked out with him.”
His eyes softened. “I suck at trust.”
“I know.”
“I’m still gonna yell, and I use fuck as a noun, adjective, and verb.”
I smirked. “I’ve learned there are times when your language really works for me.”
Drew reached out and ran two fingers over my chin, down my neck, and along my collarbone before moving them into my cleavage. “Oh yeah?”
That was all it took. The deep rasp of his oh yeah and a simple touch. I couldn’t explain why I felt things for Drew any more than I could explain the taste of water. Yet somehow, he had become a necessity for me, and I was in no way ready to take on a drought.
I whispered, “Where’s Beck?”
Drew’s eyes followed his fingers as they dipped into my sweater. “School. Don’t have to pick him up for another hour.”