“I’m not embarrassed. It was funny.”
“Inappropriate, but I guess it was funny, yeah. If anyone gives you shit, you tell me. I’ll go to your school on Monday and explain what happened.” Aspyn’s going to kill me.
“The look on Maisy’s face made it worth it,” Kiki said.
“No one has the right to bully you, Kiki.” My stance on this was pretty ironic, given my behavior in high school. “Actually, I have a secret.”
“Are you gay?”
I blinked. “No.”
“My friend’s brother told her the same thing, that he had a secret, and that’s what he said after.”
“No.” I chuckled. “What I wanted to tell you is that…I wasn’t the greatest kid when I was younger. I teased people and acted a lot like Maisy sometimes. When you’re older, you understand better how important it is to be kind. But like I said earlier, most of the time when people act like that, there’s a reason. In my case, I was an angry kid. Angry at my mom, mostly, for not being around. While some might have said I had a right to be angry, I didn’t have the right to take it out on other people. No one ever has that right.”
She took a sip of her milkshake. “I get angry too.”
“But you’re a good person. Even when that girl was being mean tonight, you held back from stooping to her level. That says a lot about you. Don’t ever change.”
Kiki took a bite of her burger. Her mouth was full when she asked, “When are you gonna stop coming around?”
I blinked. “What made you ask me that?”
“Because that’s what Holden did. He just went away. And he doesn’t call or anything. He disappeared.”
I didn’t respond right away, because I needed to be very careful not to make promises I wasn’t a hundred-percent sure I could keep.
“I know it can be hard when you get used to someone being around and then you don’t see them anymore,” I said.
“I don’t want to see my auntie cry again.”
My body stiffened. “He made her cry?”
She nodded.
“After he left, you mean? Or while he was there?”
“After he left. She was sad.” Kiki dipped her fry in some ketchup. “I was sad, too.”
That made me feel both anger and, oddly, jealousy. Not because I wanted to be the one who made her cry, but I now realized Aspyn had true feelings for that Holden guy, though she’d downplayed the breakup the one time she’d told me about him. If she’d cried when he left, there was a good chance she’d been in love with him.
Staring out at the neon lights from the diner sign, I felt a bit guilty for skirting the issue Kiki had brought up a second ago. When you choose to be a part of a child’s life because you’re involved with their caretaker, it’s not fair to disappear just because things didn’t work out with that relationship. That asshole Holden could’ve been an adult and at least made an effort to keep in touch with Kiki.
“No one who’s ever meant anything to you should completely disappear from your life, Kiki. Aspyn and I are having a really good time together. And I would love for that never to change. I care about her a lot. But I think your aunt was right when she mentioned that things between guys and girls can be complicated. I would never want to make a promise to you that I can’t keep. But what I can tell you is no matter what happens, you can always count on me if you need a friend. I’ll give you my number and email, if you ever want to talk.”
She licked some ketchup off the side of her mouth as she looked up at me in surprise. “Thanks.”
“In fact, let me give you my info right now, okay? That way you have it.”
I walked to the front and asked a waitress for some paper and a pen so I could jot down my email and cell phone number.
“Can I email you now or only if you disappear?”
I chuckled. “You can email me anytime.”
She took the piece of paper. “Thanks. Auntie Aspyn just let me create an email account.”
“Well, perfect timing then.”
• • •
Our bellies were full, and thankfully Kiki was still in good spirits by the time we returned home.
Aspyn’s eyes immediately found the massive ketchup stain on Kiki’s dress. “How was it?” she asked.
Kiki was practically speed-talking. “Maisy was mean, I gave the middle finger in the photo booth, we danced to the eff you song, then we had burgers, and Troy gave me his email.”
My shoulders shook in laughter.
Aspyn narrowed her eyes. “Okay… It’s gonna take me a little bit to decipher all of that.”
Kiki yawned. “Can we talk about it in the morning? I’m tired.”
“Of course. But jump in the shower, please, before you hit the sack, okay?”