The tension was thick during the ride home. I didn’t know if it was the pheromones in the air, the alcohol in me, or what, but I wanted nothing more than for Troy to kiss me again. My panties were still wet from our first one. My body had come alive in a way that felt like a faucet of arousal that couldn’t be shut off.
As we drove over the small bridge leading to my neighborhood, my gut told me something was going to happen between us tonight. And I wasn’t going to fight it, because I wanted it just as much as he did. Maybe more. I needed this. I needed him. I was going to let myself have it.
Troy turned on the radio, and “The Best is Yet to Come” by Frank Sinatra started playing. I wondered if he was trying to send me a subliminal message.
When we pulled up in front of my house, he shut the ignition off before turning to me. But he didn’t say anything.
My palms were sweaty. “Are you…coming inside?” I finally asked, immediately realizing how suggestive my choice of words was.
Coming inside my house? Coming inside of me? Tomato-tomahto.
“Only if you ask me to,” he said. “Just to be clear, I’m not making any assumptions. I won’t do anything unless you ask me to do it, despite all that talk back at the bar.” He wrapped his arm around the back of my seat, causing the hairs on my neck to stiffen. “Look, I feel like I can read people pretty well. If I didn’t think you wanted me to come back here with you, I wouldn’t have pulled what I did tonight. I know your head is telling you I’m a bad idea. But what you actually want is a different story. Am I right?”
I swallowed hard. “You’re right.”
He nodded as his eyes fell to my lips.
What my body wanted was never up for debate. The main thing stopping me was fear of where my head would take things after. I didn’t want to get attached to a man I’d deemed dangerous for me. And I also didn’t want to deal with everything else that came along with it, like having to admit what I’d done to Jasmine—even if she’d already encouraged me to go for him. Aside from all that, I couldn’t deny that I wanted him more than I’d wanted anything in a very long time.
“If you decide you want me to come inside,” he said. “We’ll let things happen naturally—only what you’re comfortable with and only what you ask me for. And I won’t stay the night. There doesn’t have to be any mention of it tomorrow, either, or the next day. It can be noncommittal. It doesn’t have to mean anything if you don’t want it to, Aspyn. No pressure…just pleasure.”
“That sounds like an advertising slogan.” I laughed nervously. “Anyway, you make it sound so simple.”
“I can also go home. And we can pretend this conversation never happened. But that would be painful.” He shook his head and groaned, “Because I want to fuck you so badly. I’m sorry for being blunt. But I’ve dreamed of fucking you almost every day since the night I crashed my car.”
His words sent chills through my body. “I don’t want you to go home tonight,” I whispered.
“Good. Because I really don’t want to.”
A rush of adrenaline hit as I forced out an awkward but important question. “Do you…have any diseases or anything? Are you clean?”
He pushed back a bit in his seat to look at me. “I’m glad you asked. I saw my doctor for my yearly physical before I left Seattle, and I got a full STD panel just to be on the safe side, even though I always use protection. Totally clean, and I haven’t been with anyone since I’ve been here. Despite what you might have assumed, I don’t take that stuff lightly. You?”
“Same. Clean bill of health and no diseases. Haven’t been with anyone in over a year, and I’ve always been safe.”
“Two things I want to make clear,” he said. “I’m serious about not discussing anything that happens tonight. I just want you to enjoy it and not worry about attaching meaning to it.”
I swallowed. “What’s the other thing?”
“As I’ve alluded to, I’m not doing anything to you unless you specifically ask me for it.”
“Is that some kind of sadistic need to hear me beg?”
“Nope. I just prefer knowing exactly what you want and not making any assumptions.”
I let out a shaky breath as he placed his hand on my leg.
He squeezed my thigh gently. “You’re so nervous. Don’t be. I won’t do anything you don’t want me to. Just tell me to fuck off at any time, and I’ll leave.”
What made me more nervous right now were all of the things I did want him to do to me. Even the touch of his hand on my thigh had sent shockwaves through my body, which was so damn sensitized. I was as excited and turned-on as I was nervous.