“That might change.”
Sweat prickled my forehead. “No. It won’t. But more importantly, didn’t you say ‘once a cheater, always a cheater’ earlier? That you’d never date him, if you were single? Why is he suddenly good enough for me?”
“I’m not suggesting you get involved with him, Aspyn. Just that you have some fun, if the opportunity presents itself.” She shrugged. “He’s good for that.”
I laughed angrily. “No, thanks. I’ll go get a root canal for some fun rather than subject myself to Troy Serrano.”
“When was the last time you were with someone?” she asked.
Ugh. “It’s been a while.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. I just get caught up in the day-to-day stuff. I did recently reactivate the dating app. But the guys on there tend to want only one thing. I always cancel it soon after I join. One week is usually my limit. And even in that short time, I could make a huge collage of crazy-looking mug shots from the profiles they send me. And what the hell is it with the guys who post pictures of themselves with other women as their profile photo?”
She poured herself more wine. “They do that?”
“Yes! I don’t get it. Is that supposed to make me want to date you? It’s basically like putting up a sign that says: I’m a player. And oh my God, the worst ones are when they cut a woman out of the photo, but leave a little shred of her body in. That’s just proof of laziness on top of everything else.”
Jasmine crossed her legs and leaned back. “You never meet anyone at all worth your time?”
“Not anyone who isn’t only after one thing.”
“Well, sometimes a guy who only wants sex isn’t the worst thing in the world, as long as you’re safe. Less complicated.”
Rubbing my temples, I said, “I’m getting too old for that.”
I had fantasized about such a relationship. If I couldn’t find “the one,” then someone reliable to have sex with was the next best thing. But it took just as much effort to find the right person for that as it did to find someone worthy of more.
“What’s the alternative?” she said. “You can’t just stay celibate until you find your soulmate. What if you never do, or if it takes many years? You need to let loose.” She took a gulp of her drink. “Do it for those of us who no longer can. Shake things up before you dry up.”
“I may be past that point. I think I’m already dried up and currently in need of rehydration. And shaking things up sounds like a lot of work. I think I’m too tired for that.”
“Yeah.” She blew out a breath. “I do tend to forget how much you have on your plate. I guess if you were truly single, without responsibilities, you’d have more energy on the weekends.”
“That’s exactly it. It’s so much work to weed through the mostly bad options out there. It’s easier to just relax and chill at home when I have free time, rather than go on some futile hunt. I envy anyone who can just leave the house and meet their dream guy on some street corner, or by sharing a cab, like you see in the movies. That doesn’t happen in real life. Not only that, but guys don’t normally love it when you tell them you’re basically a single mom during the week.”
She nodded. “I hadn’t thought about that, either. I’m sure that definitely makes it harder.”
“It does. And Kiki isn’t exactly an easy sell. She’s not very trusting, and that only makes things more complicated. What’s worse is when she actually gets used to the guy, and then we break up. That’s yet another loss in her life.” I sighed.
“Like with Holden.” She nodded.
“Yep.” I sighed again.
She kicked her feet up. “Okay, well, promise me something.”
“What?”
“Promise me you’ll stick with the app for longer than your usual week before you cancel it this time. You have to give it a chance,” she said. “I never had to do online dating because I met Cole in college. So, I can’t speak from experience, but they can’t all be bad.”
“No, they’re not all bad. Some are bad and some are terrible.” I chuckled.
Jasmine and I talked for another hour and finished off the wine. Then I waited until evening to drive home so I could sober up a bit before hitting the road.
On the ride home, I felt a mix of emotions. Her suggestion that I mess around with Troy? That was the weirdest thing that could have come out of her mouth. I couldn’t imagine telling my friend to go for my ex. And it was almost like she wanted to relive her high school days vicariously through me. I felt like I needed a shower from the conversation alone. But it was also a relief to finally tell her I’d been spending time with Troy. If I’d waited too long, it would’ve seemed like I was hiding something.