I start to close out of my texts, deciding to ignore him like I have been the last few weeks. When I don’t engage with his bad behavior, he eventually gives up. Granted, he’ll become progressively more bullish, and I expect a few more nasty texts, but eventually he’ll go quiet when I don’t respond.
But now I’m wondering if I can put an end to this. Maybe my mistake has been in not addressing the issue and assuming that my dad would get the hint and exit my life for good. If he decided to show one hint of care and concern for me as his son, I might be open to communication, but as of right now, my father adds no value to my life.
It’s probably time I said that to him.
I do so in a way that’s not overly complicated and cuts to the heart of the matter.
I am not sure how you got so off track from being a true father, but I’m done trying to figure it out. So let me make this clear. You are not getting a dime from me now or in the future. You can do whatever you feel is necessary in the court system, if you feel the law has been unfair to you. If you choose to go that route, simply have your attorney contact mine. But from this moment forward, you have no business contacting me further. After I send this text, I am blocking you from reaching me via phone in the future. I’m sorry it’s come to this.
And that’s it.
I hit Send and let out a deep breath of relief. My fingers keep moving on the screen, though, and I block his number.
I send a quick screenshot of this most recent text exchange to Harlow. After last night and our amazing morning enjoying breakfast and coffee and mundane chitchat—which turned out to be one of the best mornings I’ve had in a very long time—I know Harlow will understand my emotions regarding this step toward cutting out my dad.
We’ve talked about it before. She knows everything there is to know about Brooks’s relationship with our parents, my relationship with my parents, and lastly, how my relationship with my brother suffered because of my dad’s inability to be a good, loving parent.
Sadly, not just my dad. My mom is no better. She never stepped up and interceded on her children’s behalf. She’s as much to blame for our dysfunction as he is.
Harlow responds almost immediately. Want to talk?
I glance around the room, and there are too many people in here sitting close by.
I text her back. Yes. But I’m not in a place where I can. We can talk about this after the game.
Her reply is quick, and she’s clearly worried. Are you okay?
I think about it a moment and take stock of my feelings. I pretty much just cut my parents out of my life. And yet last night, when Harlow came to my condo and kissed me, ushering in a new phase for me, I gained something so significantly more beautiful and fulfilling than anything my father has ever given me, I can’t feel sad about what I’ve just done.
I’m more than okay, I text back. Can’t wait to see you after.
She makes me feel like the king of the world with her reply. Can’t wait to see you.
I have more to say. Like, I’m crazy about her, and while I hate that my brother died in a plane crash and I’d give my own life to have him back, I can’t be sad that it led me to her.
But now isn’t the time.
I can barely say those things to myself because that’s bordering on big commitment, and I’ve learned that even those who proclaim to love you aren’t always loyal.
Still… Harlow makes me want to move past that fear of betrayal and abandonment, and I’m going to listen to my gut.
?
Coach Keller stands in the middle of the locker room. He has a pregame speech that he likes to give before we head out onto the ice. It’s getting to be the same thing over and over again, just couched in different clichés.
He has no clue that nobody’s really listening to him. While the man is a genius with the technical aspects of the game, he has not been the great uniter and motivator he should be. That has actually come from two others—Baden and Gage.
While Baden works mainly with the goalies, he’s managed to reach out and make personal connections with almost every player on the team. He’s easygoing and always willing to listen if you have a problem. Not that I’ve gone to him with my problems, but I’ve heard he’s taken some guys under his wing and is mentoring them in their transition from the minors up to the pros.