“When you were little, only five, we gave you a necklace for Christmas and you’ve worn it ever since. Until . . .” His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. He never finished his sentence but of course I knew what he was talking about. He held out the little packet and I took it with shaking hands. I opened the lid to find a golden necklace with a rose pendant. I brushed my fingertip across the delicate chain.
“Let me.” Ronald took the necklace out with trembling fingers and fastened it around my throat. The gold felt cool against my breastbone.
“Thanks.” My voice came out raspy and shaky. I’d never received such a lovely gift before.
Don’t get emotionally involved. Major’s stern face accompanied the words in my head. But as a lump formed in my throat, I realized it was too late to heed his warning.
I wrapped my arms around Ronald and he kissed the top of my head. Why couldn’t my dad have been more like him?
“Umm, Dad? Can I ask you a question?”
He smiled. “You just did.”
“Phil Faulkner. Do you know him?”
“Of course, he lives down the street with his grandmother. You and Devon used to play with him when you were younger but over time you drifted apart. Come to think of it, I haven’t seen him around in a long time.”
“Thanks,” I said. He ruffled my hair. I had a feeling Madison might have hated it if someone ruined her hair like that, but I couldn’t bring myself to say anything.
Long after he left, I still stood there, clutching the little gold pendant.
Sometimes glimpses of the past flashed in my mind. A time when my brother and father had lived with my mother and me. A time of laughter and happiness. I couldn’t even say if they were memories or figments of my imagination.
I closed the door and turned the lock. Madison’s face stared back at me from the mirror on the door. I shut my eyes, though it wasn’t necessary for the shift. The familiar rippling washed over me. Bones lengthened. Sinews stretched. Face reshaped. But there was a tentativeness to the shift that shouldn’t have been there, like the stutter of an old engine before it starts to purr.
The sensation died down, and I risked a look at my reflection. And it was all wrong. I’d tried so many times to shift into my dad in order to see his face, to hear his voice and help me remember, but it was a useless struggle. The data had been washed away, as faded and distorted as my memories in years gone by.
Whatever I’d turned into resembled a badly done figure from Madame Tussauds. Skin waxen, eyes blank, my face generic and indistinct. I let the rippling sensation wash over me. Within seconds I was back in my own body.
I peeked through the gaps in the shades, but no one was there. At least, no one I could see. Maybe the stranger I’d seen outside my window before was the same person Francesca had seen Madison with?
As I stretched out on the mattress the ache in my muscles was close to unbearable. My body was tired from days of pretending. Glancing at the door, I made sure the lights were already out in the hall. Madison’s nightgown fit snuggly around my chest. Falling asleep in anything but Madison’s body was a risk, I knew. But I was so, so tired and my body needed the rest. Clutching the pendant, I closed my eyes.
Just a few minutes.
I woke to the sound of hammering. Blearily I looked around, searching for the source of the noise until I saw the shadow behind the window shades. I swung my legs out of bed, untangled them from the blanket, and gripped the edge of the nightstand. Someone was in front of my window.
Panic wormed its way through my body.
“Open the damn window. I’m freezing my ass off.”
Alec.
I padded over to the window and pulled up the shade, trying to calm my pounding heart. The frame was warped, but with Alec’s strength it was easy for him to pry it open and slip inside.
It was dark in the room but the gray of his eyes and the white of his teeth still shone in the dim light. “What are you doing here?” I whispered.
His eyes wandered over me, lingering on my breasts. My nipples puckered under his scrutiny. I wrapped my arms around my chest as I remembered the skimpy nightgown I was wearing. The last time alone in a room with him had ended in a debacle. I wasn’t keen on a repeat performance.
“Shouldn’t you be Madison?”
I hurried past him to check my reflection in the mirror. Even in the dark I could see that my hair was definitely not blonde. I’d forgotten to change back to Madison before checking the window. That could have ended badly. “Shit.”