“Don’t look at me like that,” Rayne mumbled as he accepted them and carefully slid them on.
“Like what?”
“Like I’ve broken your heart.”
Eno instantly folded Rayne in his arms, squeezing him even tighter when a shudder ran through the length of his lover. “No, my darling. No. I failed you.”
Rayne shook his head. His fingers were like claws, grasping desperately at his clothes and pulling him in as if he wanted to climb inside of Eno. “It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have…”
“No, Rayne. I reacted and it was seriously none of my business. I didn’t know the full story behind Vale’s actions. I didn’t know what kind of a danger she was. You were protecting Caelan, protecting all of us. All you should have done was discuss it with Caelan before you acted.” Eno turned his head and pressed a series of gentle kisses up along Rayne’s jaw to his temple. “But I want you to know, you can always talk to me. About anything. Even if it’s just to bounce ideas, I want to always be there for you.”
Rayne lifted tired, red-rimmed eyes to him. “I do. I…I was afraid to talk to you about Vale.”
“Why?”
“I knew you were close with Vale. You enjoyed her company. I…I was afraid you wouldn’t believe me. I thought you’d blow it off as me being jealous.”
Eno couldn’t speak. The idea of him not believing Rayne, or that Rayne would ever feel jealousy over anyone, seemed so absolutely preposterous, but it took only one look in Rayne’s eyes to know that he believed it completely.
“Rayne,” he whispered, cupping one of his cheeks. “You are the most intelligent, logical person I know. I will always believe you. But jealous? Baby, you own my heart completely. No one can ever compare to you.”
The smallest ghost of a smile passed over Rayne’s lips, but it fell away when he shivered. His hair was still wet and dripping from the shower and goose bumps were breaking out across his bare skin. He needed to get Rayne at least partially dressed and in bed.
Ushering him across the room, Eno helped him into a pair of boxers and passed the towel over his hair before tucking him under the blankets and putting his glasses on the nightstand. When Eno tried to walk away to return the towel to the bathroom, Rayne caught his hand.
“Will you lie down with me for a little while?” Rayne inquired. His eyes were already drooping, and it wouldn’t be long until he drifted off.
“Of course.” There was nowhere else in the world Eno wanted to be.
Eno tossed the damp towel into the bathroom and stripped to his own briefs. He flicked off all the lights except for the soft golden light spilling from the bathroom. He wanted enough to be able to easily see Rayne as he slept. The room was quiet, smelling faintly of the soft lavender soap that Rayne had used. The rest of the world had fallen away as Eno slipped between the covers and pulled Rayne to his warmer body.
“I’m sorry I tried to end my life,” Rayne whispered.
Eno held Rayne even tighter against him, mentally shuddering at those words. “I’m sorry I failed you. I’m sorry you felt abandoned by me. I’m sorry I made you feel like you had nowhere to turn, no one left in this world. I love you so completely, Rayne. You are my everything. I swear, you will never again have a reason to doubt that.” Eno swallowed hard and closed his eyes. “It’s just—” he started again but cut himself off.
“What?”
“This…this has made me realize that I don’t really know you. I don’t truly understand what you do or what your role is for Caelan. I thought you were a-a—”
“A paper pusher,” Rayne finished in a neutral voice.
Eno’s eyes flicked open and he winced. “Yes, as naïve and stupid as it sounds. Yes. I thought you met with dignitaries and ministers and kept up with Caelan’s schedule. You held all the history of Erya and Thia in your head. I never considered all the things your position entailed.” He scoffed harshly at himself. “I even entertained this notion of what it would be like if I had to betray my friends in the name of keeping them safe. I told myself that it was okay and that at least I’d understand my reasons, but I didn’t take a second to try to understand yours. I was just shocked…”
“That I would ever get blood on my hands,” Rayne murmured softly.
“I held this wrong image of you in my head, and I panicked when I discovered that you’re actually this master of shadows who’s taking the same steps as the rest of us to keep Caelan safe.” Eno sighed. He was fucking rambling and he needed to get to the point. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m sorry and I’d really like a second chance to get to know you. Really see you—all of you this time.”