“Aw. But you were just a kid.”
I winced. “I, ah, didn’t actually realize the distinction until quite a bit later than that. As in, this morning.”
“Ooooh.”
“Yeah.” I sighed. “You might say I’m still a late bloomer.”
“So, wait, you dated this girl from high school to now?” He clutched his chest dramatically. “Gurl. No.”
I shook my head firmly. “No. For a long time, I was too busy for anything serious. I was on the school ski team in high school and worked my ass off to turn it into a college scholarship. Then I skied for Colorado State, which kept me even busier. I told her all the time that I wasn’t in a position to have a relationship, but she said that suited her fine, too. We dated other people. Well, mostly she dated other people. Like I said, I was too busy. And I had a great group of guy friends—especially Julian—who were more fun to hang out with than dealing with dating or hookups or whatever.”
“Mmhm. Then what happened?”
“Every time she had a bad experience—a bad breakup, a career setback, whatever—she came to me for comfort, and we’d inevitably end up together again. It was easy and comfortable. Don’t get me wrong. I loved her. I love her still. She’s a wonderful person, and she’s sexy as hell. She’s been there for me during some really bad times.”
“Whose idea was it to get married? Let me guess, hers.”
The wood wasn’t stacked quite right in the fireplace, so I crouched down to adjust it again. I felt BJ’s searching gaze on the back of my head. It was strange telling this story to an outsider. It made me sound stupid and naive.
I guessed I had been.
“Well, yeah, but I agreed. It sounded nice, finally settling down like that. Her parents are like second parents to me, and her dad is my boss. I pictured us getting a house in Vail and seeing Rod and Lorraine regularly for dinner. Going out to have drinks with my friends from work and their spouses and partners. It sounded really nice.”
Why did I sound so defensive?
I glanced over my shoulder to find BJ nodding his head in sympathy. “It does sound nice.”
I let out a breath. “Yeah.”
“So why didn’t you fight for it?” He met my eyes. “When she called off the wedding, what did you do?”
After opening my mouth to tell him how upset I’d been, how I’d tried calling her and texting her, I clamped my jaw closed. It had never occurred to me to go after her. There hadn’t been a single wish in my mind to find her and talk her out of leaving me.
“I felt relieved. Like I’d been walking along, not knowing how close I was to the edge of the cliff until Erin pulled us back. So I let her go. After reading her reasons for calling it off—mainly that she wasn’t ready to settle down, because she wanted excitement and adventure—I realized she was right. And at first, I felt a little bad that I couldn’t be what she wanted, like maybe I should have tried harder. But then I realized that it would never have worked. We wanted different things.”
“Hmmm. So how’d you end up here in Aster Valley if you were getting married in Vail?”
“Julian brought me. This is his place.” I stood up to put the fireplace poker back in the rack. As I turned to the chair, I noticed a small picture frame set back on the built-in bookshelf next to the fireplace. I stepped closer to see what was in it because it didn’t look like a photo.
It was a tiny piece of wrinkled paper with my own familiar handwriting on it.
You and me. Always.
Warmth flooded my chest. I reached out and pulled the frame from its almost-hidden spot deep on the shelf. When I found the chair with my ass, I sat down hard, which must have been why I didn’t hear the door open behind me.
“He loves me,” I murmured.
“More than anything,” Julian’s voice replied softly.
I turned to face him, eyes suddenly in danger of betraying me. “Don’t leave,” I begged in a cracking voice. I stood up and walked over to him, grabbing him and pulling him into my arms so I could hold him tight and never fucking let him go. “Please don’t leave me.”
Julian turned his face into my neck until I felt the softness of his lips against my skin. I breathed out and inhaled the outdoor scent of him. Along with alcohol.
I pulled back and glared at him. “Tell me right now you did not drive that car after drinking.”
Julian’s eyes were wide. “N-no. The guys… Declan had one of his deputies bring me back. I wouldn’t do that to you.”
“If something were to happen to you, Jules…”