I sat on the end of the bed and thought about what to tell Erin. How did I feel about this? Was I angry? Betrayed? Confused?
Relieved.
I was overwhelmingly relieved, to the point of feeling almost giddy. Which, of course, made me feel like the worst person on Earth.
Why? Why was I relieved? I’d wanted to marry Erin. After she’d suggested it, I’d realized it would be the answer to all my hopes and dreams for a nice, stable life here in Colorado. We’d get married and be together, and nothing else would change. I’d still be part of her family, and we’d settle in Vail, close enough to Denver to still have Julian and Hazel in our lives.
I still wanted that. And I hated knowing that I wasn’t enough for her. That I couldn’t make her happy.
I sighed.
Parker: Please tell me you’re safe.
I waited longer this time, so long that a text from the photographer came through. I realized I was late for the photoshoot. The photoshoot for a wedding that was no longer taking place.
Parker: Does anyone else know? Hazel?
Julian’s sister was her closest confidante. Surely, she would have talked to her about this.
Thinking of Hazel made me think about Julian. He was going to be crushed. He was going to think I was brokenhearted, which meant he was going to feel guilty, even though he obviously had nothing to do with it.
Unless…
Parker: Does Jules know?
If Hazel knew, surely she’d told Julian.
Finally, she wrote back.
Erin: I’m already back in Denver. No one knows. About any of it. I thought it wouldn’t be fair to tell anyone before you and now… now I can’t. Everyone will want answers and I don’t have any yet. I’m sorry to put it all on you. I’m going out of town. I’ll deal with things when I get back.
My jaw tightened as little tendrils of anger began snaking their way in. She hadn’t been acting herself last night. She had to have already been having second thoughts by then. How could she sit there next to me last night without saying anything?
Maybe for the same reason I hadn’t said anything to her about my own serious misgivings.
Parker: It’s okay. I’ll take care of it.
I slipped the phone into my pocket and the letter into the bottom of my suitcase before turning to face the music.
After meeting the photographer in the lobby and explaining that the wedding was canceled, I asked to speak to the hotel event manager. I knew from emails I’d been copied on that her name was Sandy, and she would be able to help me with much of the rest of it.
She met me in the lobby and pulled me to the side where there was a little cluster of love seats next to a fireplace, but I was too keyed up to sit. I paced back and forth on the thick rug. As soon as I told Erin’s parents, all hell was going to break loose, and I’d never be able to get through the rest of it.
“You excited about your big day?” she asked with a smile.
I ran my hand through my hair, upsetting all the gel I’d carefully applied to keep things just right for the photos. “Um, that’s the thing I needed to talk to you about. The wedding is off. I need your help, ah… telling people and stuff. Like, I don’t know how to get in touch with anyone. The band, the officiant, the cake people. The guests.” I kind of squawked out that last part, thinking about how disappointed everyone would be and how everyone would grill me for an explanation.
Sandy stared at me for a moment before moving ahead like she had to deal with this sort of thing all the time. Hell, maybe she did. “Right, well, first things first, can I get you a nice, stiff drink from the bar? It’s going to take me a little while to get us organized, and I think a drink is just what the doctor ordered. Why don’t you follow me to the bar, and I’ll grab my binder.”
She led me through the archway into the darker hotel bar area. The place was mostly deserted as the wedding guests were probably busy showering, and the other guests were most likely still on the slopes.
The bartender looked up from slicing lemons. “Hiya, Sandy, what can I get for you and your guest?”
Sandy lifted a brow at me.
“Whiskey, neat. Any kind,” I said, suddenly thinking Sandy was the smartest woman ever.
“Make it a double,” Sandy added softly. “And it’s on the house.”
“It’s not too late,” I told her, trying to lighten the mood a little. I didn’t want pity looks. “You and I could get hitched. I’ve got everything all ready to go. Just need a bride.”