There was an array of aromas bursting in my nose and adding to a sense of freedom. The absolute freedom I felt in this moment was unlike anything I could ever experience back home. Ryeka, New York was a bustling, growing city. It was congested, and the smells, more times than not, were toxic and dirty because of the animals and far too many people living shoulder-to-shoulder.
The only solace I found in such a living space was the home Adryan was renovating, an ancient, massive structure situated on acres upon acres of untouched wooded land.
It was a long trip to the caverns, but I didn't mind. The quiet and being alone did me good, made me feel almost refreshed. I could see myself living in a place like this, where people were scarce. In fact, I wanted that, I realized. I didn't want to stay in Ryeka anymore, not when I had experienced this and realized how unhappy the city made me, even if I had plenty of open space at Adryan’s.
Because living with my crazy brother wasn’t exactly how I saw spending the rest of my life.
No, I decided, this, this is what I want.
But writing a letter to Adryan telling him I wasn't coming back to the city wasn't something he’d accept. And he deserved for me to tell him in person, to look him in the eyes and tell him that although I loved him dearly and we would always be bonded as family, I needed to start carving out a place in this world for me.
He’d give me a fight, be stubborn and argumentative, try to assert that annoying dominance and arrogance on me that worked so well on everyone else. But at the end of it all, I'd get what I wanted because no one would stop me.
Exhaling and feeling even more invigorated by my thoughts and plans, I stared at the base of the mountain, where I could see the almost tiny entrance that led to the network of caves within.
I moved through the small entrance, my hands on the rock to guide me inside. I made my way farther, deeper inside, smelling the fresh water and following it. And when I found the cavern, a little gasp of pleasure and happiness left me.
I stared at the waterfall, a shallow pool right below it. The water was clean and clear, falling from an opening up above and sliding down the back of the wall. The scent of earth and lack of any human, animal, or otherworld had me smiling. If someone had been here, it had been a very long time ago. Privacy.
If this wasn’t perfection, I didn’t know what was.
I stared at the pool once more, and without even thinking about it, started to take my clothes off until I stood in just my shift. I stepped into the cool water, ripples moving outward as I stepped farther into it. I waded to the center, the pool shallow enough that when I stood fully in, the water only came up to my waist. And then I lowered myself down so that I could lie back and just immerse myself.
I let my arms float out on either side of me and closed my eyes, just taking in the chill of the water and the feeling of the moonlight coming in from the opening above. Aside from the sound of the falls hitting the pool, there was this peacefulness, a quiet and stillness that surrounded me.
There was just something beautiful about… nothingness.
Chapter Five
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I'd been feeling off the entire day, unable to shake this strange feeling, this low hum beneath my skin. I’d lain in bed for hours, staring straight ahead, tossing and turning, the sounds of Cian and Odhran softly snoring in their beds coming through the too-thin walls.
But they weren’t the reason I hadn't been able to rest. I was too agitated, that weird feeling in the pit of my gut and the ache in my chest something I couldn't shake off. And the strangest part was… I didn’t want to let it go. I didn’t want it to leave.
I ran my hands up and down my arms, tuning out the tavern noises all around me. My skin felt tight and prickly. And my wolf… my wolf was anxious, pacing below my skin, rising every once in a while to let me know he was here and he wanted out.
I pushed away my mug of ale and leaned back in the chair, crossing my arms over my chest and staring at the other two Lycans. After I told Cian and Odhran we’d be staying another night, something they’d grumbled about only briefly because they wanted to get back home, we’d found ourselves at the only tavern in this little village.
“I told ye two stubborn bastards ye could leave at any time.” I narrowed my eyes on them. “I donna need guards.”