I could hear the horses neighing behind me, their hooves stomping on the ground. A little growl also sounded, Banner clearly not liking me getting close to what he perceived as a threat. It didn’t matter if Adryan would never hurt me, would even give his life to protect mine.
Banner, being my mate, was now instinctually bonded to me, and any male, any aggression he felt might be directed my way would be perceived as a threat.
But I was thankful he didn’t instigate anything, that he stayed atop his steed and let me handle this.
I stared at my brother and gave him a gentle smile, hoping it would ease some of the tension from him. And after a few seconds, it did, as his shoulders loosened, his expression a little less unforgiving. And the longer he stared at me, the more the red bled out of his eyes. He finally exhaled slowly, and I felt myself ease marginally as well.
“Is this truly what you want, Luna?” he asked again.
I let his question play through my mind although I knew the answer already. “I know I want to find my own path, make my own story, Adryan. I know that I want an experience, an adventure.” I looked over my shoulder at Banner and saw he still watched me, white-knuckling those reins, his body still tight and ready to attack at a moment’s notice.
“You’re young, Luna. So young.”
I looked back at Adryan and wanted to point out the same thing. He was only a few years older than I was.
“And he’s…”Adryan growled low and looked at Banner. “Not.”
“I want this.” I took another step toward him. “I’m sure I want this, Adryan,” I said instead of responding to his last part. I waited until he looked back at me, until he started to relax once more. “I’m sure I want to see how this goes with my mate. I’m sure I want to make my own decisions, figure out my own mistakes and learn from them.” I shrugged. “I know everything won’t be perfect and harmonious all the time. But I also know I want to figure it out, and I want to do that with Banner.”
When he didn’t respond for long moments, I figured he’d scoff at what I said, tell me he couldn’t let this go, that his overprotectiveness was just so paramount he’d never give me the space I craved and yearned for.
But he surprised me by taking a step back, and I sensed the tension and aggression leaving him, although maybe “leaving” wasn’t the right word. He’d mastered being able to mask his emotions, what little he had.
He slowly looked over my shoulder at Banner and said, “I’m going to stay close for the time being, to watch out for you, little sister.” Although he still stared at Banner, he focused on me as he spoke. “I’m going to make sure that you don’t change your mind.”
I didn’t bother telling him that I wouldn’t change my mind, that being mated was something that felt wholly perfect and right. Because Adryan would never understand. He didn’t have the capacity to follow the logic of wanting to see if you could fall in love. The way his mind worked was logical, rational.
It was never emotional.
But I hoped one day that would change, when he found a mate, when he realized that what he’d share with another soul was an intimate, unique bond that could only grow into the most beautiful union imaginable. I hoped that for him. I prayed to whatever gods would listen that he could experience what I currently was with Banner.
“Thank you,” I whispered and gave him another smile. He let out a low exhale once more and gave me as much of a smile as he could muster, one that was more of an arrogant smirk. “I love you, big brother.”
He huffed out a chuckle and shook his head. “I can’t believe I’m really letting you do this.” It sounded like he spoke to himself, so I didn’t bother replying that I was doing this whether he “let” me or not.
I knew although he’d never fully give me the independence and space I needed, at least not for the foreseeable future, he would let me walk this path alone, or at least stay in the shadows and be there in case I needed help.
“I’ll fall,” I said. “But I’ll get up, brush myself off, and keep going. And I’ll have Banner at my side.” It was the only kind of reassurance I could muster, the only kind that he might be able to comprehend and understand. And he did. I saw that truth in his eyes and the way he inclined his head in my direction.
With one last glower toward Banner that had me shaking my head, Adryan turned and laughed, then he walked back into the woods and disappeared amongst the shadowy overgrowth.