“Don’t.”
“What would happen? What’s the worst that could happen?”
“My brother will kill you.”
“Who, Enrico? He doesn’t scare me.”
“He should.”
“You’re overthinking this.”
“No, Giuliano, trust me, you are underthinking this. If they get suspicious that I’m seeing someone they will tighten the noose around my neck even more.”
“You haven’t seen me.”
We fall silent.
Eventually I whisper, “Are you angry?”
“Disappointed.”
“I know, baby,” I whisper. “Me too.”
“I’m tired, I’m going to go.” He sighs. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”
My eyes well with tears, this is the first time he’s ever wanted to get off the phone. “Okay,” I whisper.
“Good night, Chesk.”
“Good night, Jules.”
We stay silent on the line, waiting for the other to say something to fix it, but there is no fix to this.
He will move on, and how could I blame him?
Six weeks is a long time to invest in someone who he will never get the chance to meet up with.
“Dream of me,” I whisper hopefully.
“Always do.”
The phone clicks as he hangs up and deflated, I stare at it in my hand for a while.
I shower and sadly climb into bed. I’ve met the man of my dreams and now I’m going to have to endure him slowly withdraw from me.
If only my family just knew what an amazing person he is, I’m sure they would grow to love him.
I need to fix this, if we can’t meet in the open, what about…? We could meet in secret? But how?
I’m only allowed to a few places: Anna’s, the library…my eyes widen. Of course, why didn’t I think of that before?
The library.
I dial his number, he answers first ring. “What’s wrong?”
“Can you come to Milan?”
“What?”
“I’m allowed to go to the library, if you get there before me and hide while my security do their checks, I can see you.”
“They don’t stay in the library with you?”
“No, they do their check and then wait outside. Could you hide for ten minutes in the bathroom or something. I mean, I don’t know how it would work but….”
“I could.”
“When?” I ask.
“Tomorrow.”
So soon. “It’s risky, Jules, what if they catch us?” I whisper.
“Five minutes together will be worth it.”
* * *
The car pulls into the parking lot of the Milan public library and I close my eyes.
Shit.
My two guards climb out of the front seat and Antonio opens my car door. I peer out with trepidation.
Oh hell.
What am I doing?
They’re going to catch us and then they’re going to beat Giuliano to a pulp and he will get the blame, when really, this was all my fault.
I glance up at the building in front of us, is he in there? I couldn’t even bring my phone in case it’s found. I stalled at home as long as I could to give him enough time.
What if he hasn’t hidden yet?
Fuck.
“Everything alright, Miss Ferrara?”
“Uh-huh.” I fake a smile and climb out. “Thank you, Antonio.”
We walk up the grand steps and through the double doors and into the main hall and study area and I see Anna sitting in the corner at one of the long tables. I made her come as a decoy, she has textbooks open and looks the studious part. My eyes dart around in search.
No sign. Thank God, he’s hidden.
I wave and make my way over and sit down. “Hello.” I smile, I open my textbook and get out my pens and notebooks. My heart is hammering hard in my chest, and this is undoubtedly the scariest thing I have ever done.
Antonio walks around the library as he does his check while Hugo goes back to wait out the front.
“Is he gone?” I whisper to Anna.
She watches Antonio over my shoulder. “Not yet.” Her eyes widen.
“What?” I stammer.
“Oh shit.” She puts her hand over her heart. “I thought he was going into the men’s bathroom.”
That’s where Giulio is hiding. “Did he?”
“No, he’s heading toward the door.”
I hold my forehead and slump into my chair. “Fuck, I’m so nervous.”
“About seeing him or getting caught?”
“Both.”
Anna giggles as she looks toward the door. “I’m going to go and check that the coast is clear.”
My scared eyes hold hers.
“Will you relax, you look like you saw a ghost,” she whispers as she walks over to one of the big windows looking out over the street, she peers out and then returns to the table.
“What’s happening?” I whisper. “What are they doing?”
“Antonio is on his phone and Hugo is leaning up against the car having a cigarette.”
I nod, feeling a little better. “Okay.”
Anna takes out her phone, she texts.
The coast is clear
I feel my underarms begin to heat as nausea rolls my stomach. “What if he doesn’t like me?” I whisper.
“There’s no chance of that, have you seen yourself?” she says as she watches the men’s bathroom door.
“I can’t even look,” I whisper as I stare straight ahead. “I swear to God, I’m about to throw up.”