There has to be something she’s not telling me. I could leave her to it and let her walk away, but that’s the last thing I want. She’s too important to let her slip through my fingers. So what’s the alternative? Do I force her to talk when she clearly doesn’t want to? Do I present her with an ultimatum even though it goes against everything I stand for?
I have to do something. Doing nothing is like letting her go without a fight. And I want to fight for her more than anything in the world. She’s all that matters. So maybe it’s worth humiliating myself in front of her to try and figure out where we went wrong.
If she rejects me, at least I know where I stand. At least I don’t have to question if I did all I could to make her mine.
I know what I have to do.
I’m going to call her into my office at the end of the day and talk this over. I’m going to make it clear how I feel and that she can walk away if she needs to, that she doesn’t have to say anything she doesn’t want to. After all, silence speaks volumes.
I can feel the weight of the impending conversation resting on my chest. This is going to be the hardest conversation I’ll ever have in my life. It will either end with us together or with me alone forever. I’ve never faced such a scenario, I never thought I would find myself here, but it’s time. I can’t wait any longer in this purgatory she’s sent me to today. I need answers.
I just hope she’s willing to offer them.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Lucy
This day has been harder than I ever imagined. Trying to steer clear of Wyatt, pretending that I don’t care about him at all when he’s the only thing that matters…it’s torture.
When I saw him earlier today, my heart sank to the pit of my stomach. Looking at him, I saw everything I was losing out on and realized just what a mess I’d made. I couldn’t face him and tell him what happened to make me turn so cold.
I could see on his face that he was hurt. Hurt that I walked away from him this morning without an explanation. Hurt that he doesn’t understand what’s going on. But the second I tell him why I left, he’s going to be even more hurt. The deception I’ve weaved is unforgivable, and I can’t believe I allowed things to escalate so far, knowing the fallout the whole situation would create.
But I was thinking about myself for once. Something I rarely do. I’m usually running around trying to please my dad. I’ve always felt as though I owe everything to him. After all, he raised me alone. He’s the one person who has always been there for me. But he’s also the person who always uses me to his own advantage. I’m a pawn in his chess game, always being thrown out into the open as a sacrifice when he needs something.
And I guess maybe I thought I was taking control by indulging in what I wanted for once. But I never stopped to think properly about the consequences. Now, everyone is going to get hurt. Because next time I see Wyatt, I’m going to explain myself. I’m going to be honest with him because he deserves that much at least. I can’t just keep running from the truth.
It’s time to face the music.
The stress is getting to me. I’m pouring myself my fourth cup of coffee of the day when one of Wyatt’s assistants approaches me with a warm smile.
“Hey, honey,” she says cheerily. “Mr. Callaghan has requested that you head to his office at the end of the working day. He says he’d like to speak with you about some urgent matters.”
I feel my heart skip a beat, and then several more. I swallow. “Did he say what he wanted to talk about?”
“No, not really. I’d tread carefully, though. He seems to be in a terrible mood. I’ve never seen him this way before.”
I nod as the assistant scurries off and I stand by the coffee machine for a minute, drinking the hot liquid and scalding my mouth in the process. Of course, Wyatt is in a bad mood. After the way things went last night, me blowing him off must have really hurt. He surprised me last night, to say the least. Now that I think more about it, he really did seem to be as into me as I am into him. And if that’s the case, then maybe he’s as upset as I am about the way today panned out.
This whole time, I was convincing myself I was doing the right thing. I assumed that Wyatt was better off without me, that he wasn’t so invested that this could really hurt him. But I saw the way he looked at me earlier. I saw how the hurt ran deep within him.