ISABELLA
I drag my body out of bed and get ready for the day.
The strength that used to flow through my veins feels like it’s been sapped from my body. The anger has given way to raw heartache, and as much as I hate to admit it, I miss Alexei.
I miss his playful smile.
I miss the way he looked at me… as if he really loved me.
I miss feeling his strong arms around me.
I even fucking miss the way he walks.
Ugh.
Shaking my head, I try to force Alexei from my mind, and after putting on my boots, I leave the bedroom.
I find Ana in the kitchen, where she’s preparing a cup of coffee. “Want some?”
I nod and take a seat at the table.
“You don’t have to go today,” she says. Ana’s made it clear she’s not happy about us going back to Columbia to get my motorcycle and weapons.
I’ve spent the past week watching the area around the safe house and the other property to make sure it’s clear. Which it isn’t. My mother’s men are watching it, which tells me she’s figured out what I was up to.
“I have to. I can’t leave them there.”
She sets a cup of coffee down in front of me and takes a seat across from me. Her eyes drift over my face, then she pats her heart and asks, “How are you feeling.”
“Raw.” I shake my head. “It’s hard to think it was all an act.”
“Maybe it wasn’t,” Ana mentions.
I let out a bitter chuckle. “Alexei Koslov does nothing unless he’s going to gain from it. The most important thing to him is power.” I take a sip of the beverage, then add, “And loyalty.” I let out a sigh.
Ana gives me a comforting look.
Shaking my head, I continue, “I’m still trying to put all the pieces together, and there’s one thing I’m not clear on. Why fake a relationship between us? What would he stand to gain from it?”
Ana shrugs. “It’s not like he can get to your mother through you.”
“Exactly. That’s the confusing part.” We sit and think for a moment. “Alexei wants my mother dead. To think he lied about a relationship just to form an alliance with me… that’s seriously too extreme, even for him.”
Ana sets her mug down on the table. “You said you hooked up with him. Maybe it was love at first sight for him.”
I let out a burst of laughter. “No.”
“Why won’t you consider it?” Ana asks.
“Because it’s ridiculous. Alexei Koslov doesn’t fall in love.”
“He’s human, Isabella. Even your mother fell in love. It happens.”
I stare down at the caramel liquid in the cup, considering what Ana just said.
Remembering how Alexei looked at me like I was everything he ever wanted stabs at my crushed heart.
Was it all an act?
‘I. Love. You.’
‘I could’ve left you for dead, but I didn’t. I could’ve taken what I wanted, but I gave you a choice. Don’t forget that. Don’t forget what I said to you on that cliff.’
Closing my eyes, my mind goes back to when Alexei proposed to me.
‘Whatever happens in the future, I want you to remember this moment. I mean everything I’m going to say,’ Alexei takes a deep breath, and then his eyes lock with mine. ‘I love you.’
God, it felt like he meant what he said. I remember how the words hit, making me feel emotional.
‘I fucking love everything about you. I could spend the next hour going into detail, but I won’t. I want you. All of you. I want you next to my side. I want to wage wars with you. I want to build empires with you. I want you in every new memory I make because there isn’t a woman on the face of this planet I respect more.’
The heartache becomes too much to bear, and shaking my head to rid myself of the memories, I get up. I grab the cup and empty it into the sink. “We leave in five minutes.”
“Isabella,” Ana calls after me. I stop and glance over my shoulder. “It does get easier with time.”
“It does?” I ask, wondering if she’s referring to what happened to her.
Ana nods. “Yes, especially when you have someone to lean on.”
“Did I make it easier for you?” I ask, needing to know if I made a difference in her life.
“I wouldn’t be sitting here if it weren’t for you,” she admits, then she gets up and comes to stand in front of me. “Not because you saved me, but because you gave me a reason to live.”
Emotion wells in my chest. “I really needed to hear that.”
Ana’s mouth lifts slightly. “Sorry I haven’t said it before.”
I shake my head, then I meet her eyes. “You never talk about what happened.”
Pain flashes over her features. “I can’t.”
“Okay.”
Ana takes a deep breath, and then she steps around me. “The five minutes are up. I guess we should get going.”
I follow Ana out of the house, thinking how she’s changing day by day.
Maybe that’s all it will take to get over Alexei – time.