ISABELLA
God, nothing makes sense. Besides feeling like I’ve been hit by a bus, everything’s foreign.
I keep trying to remember, forcing myself until it feels as if I have a second heartbeat pounding away against my skull.
But the last thing I remember clearly is wanting to talk to Madame Keller about switching my training. I didn’t want my mother to know, and it all adds up with what Alexei told me earlier.
When he stared into my eyes and told me what he thought of me, and when he kissed me, I felt a strong attraction toward him. I can see why I fell for him even though I can’t say that I love him. Maybe the emotions will come back?
I’m engaged to Alexei Koslov.
“I’m engaged to Alexei Koslov,” I say the words out loud, but it sounds more like a question than a fact.
“I trained as a custodian, and I’m as good as Demitri.” This time I feel the words settle in my heart.
Everything else Alexei said makes sense. I’m not surprised my mother almost killed me because there was never any love between us, and I planned to overthrow her.
Also, I respect Winter and everything she stands for. Last I heard, she married Damien Vetrov, so I can see how I’d be open to getting to know Alexei, seeing as they are practically family.
My thoughts turn back to when he kissed me, and I focus on how I felt. It was like a rush… an adrenaline shot to my heart.
Letting out a sigh, I close my eyes and try to relax, but I feel too wound up.
God, it’s like my mind is filled with blank spots. I know they're there, but I can’t figure out what’s missing. It feels like I’ve forgotten something or someone very important. As if it’s on the tip of my tongue, but I just can’t… I let out a frustrated growl, pushing my hands into my hair and gripping fistfuls.
Maybe it’s Alexei? Maybe this feeling is the love I felt for him?
I keep my eyes closed, the bright lights of the hospital room making my migraine worse.
“You okay?” Alexei suddenly asks, and my eyes snap open. I didn’t even hear him come into the room.
“Bad headache,” I answer as I watch him set down a bag on the chair by the door.
Alexei glances to where the nursing station is, and then he orders, “Give her something for pain.”
“Yes, Mr. Koslov,” the nurse quickly answers, and a moment later, she comes rushing into the room.
After she injects something into my IV, Alexei murmurs, “Thank you.” He comes to stand next to the bed, and once the nurse leaves, he leans over me, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “Hopefully, you’ll feel better soon.”
My eyes dart over his face as he pulls back, and once again, I try to imagine us a couple.
God, it feels so foreign.
Shouldn’t I have some sense that I loved this man enough to marry him?
Alexei’s dark brown eyes lock on mine, and I instantly feel the intensity and power coming from him. He’s attractive, his features strong and mercilessly cut from granite. The blondish-white hair gives him an edgy vibe.
He is my type.
I focus on my feelings and notice I don’t feel any fear, which means I subconsciously feel safe with him.
Alexei tilts his head. “What are you thinking?”
“I’m trying to make sense of everything.” Shaking my head, I let out a frustrated sigh. “Everything’s confusing. I hate it.”
His mouth lifts into a sexy grin. “You have this thing of always being in control. So it’s normal that you’ll feel out of your depth right now.” He takes hold of my hand, his fingers feeling strong around mine. “Until you’re back to your old self, I’ll take care of everything. Try to think of it as a vacation. You deserve it after working your ass off and nearly dying.”
“How long will I stay in the hospital?” I ask, needing to know how much time I have to prepare myself for going home with Alexei.
“Dr. Oberio said another three days.”
Slowly, I nod, then I ask, “What’s… our home like?”
Alexei takes a seat on the chair next to the bed, making the damn thing look like a throne. “Right now, Demitri and Ariana live with us at the mansion. We’re actually going to build another house on the property where Demitri and Ariana can move to so we’ll have more privacy.” He takes a breath, then explains, “We met Ariana last year. Her father was the former head of the bratva. I took over from him after he passed away, and because we had to protect Ariana, she and Demitri hit it off.”
“What’s my relationship like with her?” I ask, actually relieved to hear it won’t just be Alexei and me.
“You’re friends,” he answers, then he adds, “I’ve told Ariana what happened and that you don’t remember her. Don’t worry. We’ll take things slow when you’re home.”
Nodding, I murmur, “Thank you.” I glance down at our hands, and as Alexei brushes his thumb over my skin, it doesn’t feel uncomfortable. Instead, it actually feels good, causing something to hum to life deep inside of me.
My gaze moves to my left hand, and then I frown. “If we’re engaged, where’s the ring?”
“You sent it in to be cleaned. I’ll pick it up once it’s ready,” Alexei immediately answers.
Feeling a little uncomfortable, I ask, “Do you mind holding onto it for a while… just until I’m ready?”
He gives me a comforting smile. “Of course.”
I stare at Alexei, and somehow I know I’m safe with him, and it’s what I need most while I recover – just a place where I’m safe until my memory returns and I can figure out what’s next.