“Uh, actually . . .” She glances at me, a knowing grin spreading her full lips. “You go on ahead. We’re done for the day. I’m gonna catch up with Deck for a little bit.”
Or all night long.
Once the door closes behind Jerry, I just stare at her for a few moments, and she stares back at me. It’s not awkward. It’s anticipation, like we’re not sure where to start first, but I just want to begin.
“I like your hair like that,” I finally say.
“I know.” She tugs at one springy dark curl. “I wore it like this for you.”
“For me?” I lean back deeper into the couch, relaxing my legs so she can see the wood I worked so hard to hide from Jerry. Her dark eyes go hot, glancing from my lap to my lips. She takes a step in my direction.
“Stop.” I release the word as a command. “There’s something you should know before you come any closer.”
She links her hands behind her back, pushing her breasts up a little in the silk top she paired with fitted slacks.
“What should I know?” She cocks one brow, waiting.
“Don’t come if you’re not ready.” As much as I want her, as much as I’ve missed her, I mean every word. “If you’re not ready to be with me, to really be with me, then don’t come because I’m not used to settling, and I’m not starting with you.”
She blinks rapidly over the surprise in her eyes, and takes one step in my direction.
“Anything else?” she asks. “Before I come to you?”
“Yeah, I’m not letting you go.” I haul a hand through my hair, freshly cut for today’s dancing bear media blitz. “Shit, Ave. I’ve been in relationships before. I’ve been married before, but I’ve never . . .”
I’m going to sound like a chick. I know it, but I can’t stop the words.
“I’ve never felt like this about anyone else, and I’m not giving you up once I have
you. You better get used to that.”
Another step, and now she’s close enough for me to see tears brightening her dark eyes.
“Is that all?” she asks, her voice rich with emotion.
I nod tersely, not sure she’s taking me seriously, but wanting to touch her too much to press the issue. Taking the last few steps and stopping at my knees, she nods to my lap.
“May I?” she asks.
I scoot down another inch, making room for her body to settle over mine. She scoots up until her knees rest on either side of me, and leans forward, pressing her breasts into my chest and her elbows on my shoulders.
“Now let me tell you some things that you should know.” She brushes a finger over my lips. “You should know that I have missed you every day we’ve been apart.”
I try to ignore what her scent and her warmth and the force of who she is does to me; how holding her is the best thing I’ve felt since I left New York before Christmas.
“Have you really?” I ask, my tone casual, my heartbeat anything but.
She leans down until her lips hover over mine.
“I did,” she breathes over me before going on. “You should also know that I’ve done a lot of thinking. My relationship with Will taught me a lot. I don’t want another relationship . . .”
She doesn’t want another relationship? Pain stabs me like a physical cut. Am I willing to be her fuck buddy? The itch she scratches whenever she needs it too badly to ignore?
No, the hell I am not. I make my eyes flinty for our stare off so she won’t know she just hurt me more than any woman ever has.
“If this is just some elaborate bicoastal booty call,” I say, starting to sit up and pushing her away from me, “Then you can just—”
“Shut up, Deck, and let me finish.” She pushes my chest so I fall back onto the sofa. “As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted.”