“I was happy to, Rex.” He shifted back to look at me, the amusement he’d been wearing since the moment we’d stepped through the clinic doors replaced by his worry. “It’s time you stop thinking you have to go this alone all the time. I’m here for her, too. I love that kid. You have to get that.”
On a sigh, I roughed a hand through my hair, my attention moving back to my daughter, who had climbed the steps to the short plastic slide and was propelling herself down. “I know, man. It’s just—”
“It’s just that you think you’re supposed to,” he cut in, his arms going across his chest. “You think if you give up even a second of the responsibility, a second of the worry, you’re betraying your daughter in some way.”
“That’s not true.”
“Isn’t it? Hell, I’m surprised you even let your mom take care of her in the afternoons when she gets out of preschool.”
I let a smirk climb to my mouth. “I’m kind of questioning that, actually. She’d look pretty dammed cute with a hard hat on the job, don’t you think?”
His eyes narrowed. “I’d be laughing right now if I didn’t think you might actually be serious.”
I chuckled, head shaking with a bit of amusement before I dropped my gaze toward my booted feet. “Nah, man. I . . .”
Kale set his hand on my shoulder. “You’re a disaster, man. Know you don’t want to hear it, but you have issues, and I’m worried about you.”
“It’s just . . . it’s so goddamned hard to let her out of my sight. Feel like I’m always scrambling to stay in front of everything, trying to stay one step ahead to make sure she’s safe.”
His voice softened. “You know that’s not always going to be possible.”
Dread curled in my stomach. That same old misery that stalked me in the day and hunted me in the night. The helplessness and fear and agony that had scraped and scraped at my spirit.
Perpetual torture.
I wondered how there was anything left of me.
“You’ve got to understand, Kale.”
“Of course, I understand. I was there, man. I went through it, too. But you can’t spend the rest of your life a prisoner to that time.”
How the fuck were we supposed to move on from it when that time was unending?
“I’m trying.”
“Are you? Then why don’t you come clean about what’s going on with this Rynna girl? The smoking hot chick who just so happened to be at the emergency room—at three-thirty in the morning—with the guy who refuses to accept help from anyone other than me, Ollie, and his mom, and barely even then.”
Unease stirred through me. That same feeling that had been nagging at me for days. The dread and the need and confusion. “Battery was dead in the truck.”
“Hmm.”
“Hmm, what?”
“You’re an awful handy dude for having to ask a woman for help in the middle of the night.”
“Frankie was sick. Didn’t have time to spare.”
“You needed someone, and you went to her.”
Fuck.
He was right.
I needed someone. And I went to her.
I went to her.
Agitation had me shifting on my feet.
He squeezed my shoulder a little tighter. “Tell me what’s going on with you two.”
My attention was locked on Frankie as I rubbed a hand over my mouth, trying not to think about the way I’d felt pressed against Rynna. The way her heart had beaten and mine had come alive for the first time in years. “Only thing that’s going on is shit that can’t be.”
“And why’s that?”
My chest tightened, and I looked to the ground, voice dropping so low I wasn’t sure he could hear my confession. “It feels like cheating.”
I could feel Kale’s sympathy all mixed with a bolt of exasperation. “And who exactly are you cheating on? Because that bitch left you and Sydney is gone. They are both gone, man, and they aren’t coming back.”
My entire being flinched. Anguish and this blinding guilt that ate me up from the inside.
Kale’s voice dropped to match mine. “You need to tell Ollie, Rex. Fucking get this off your chest once and for all so you can finally move on.”
“I’m not sure how to do that.”
Question was, did I really want to?
Rynna’s face spun through my mind. I swore I could feel that place that had ached forever transform. Grasping for something different. Something better.
And that scared the shit out of me.
I glanced over at Kale. When I caught his expression, my irritation came back full force. “Why the fuck are you grinning?”
“Oh, you know . . . because it’s super entertaining to watch you realize you just might want something but the thought of it makes you want to crawl right out of your skin.”
“Always such an asshole,” I mumbled.
“Who doesn’t hesitate to say it straight. Admit it. You like her.”