SARAH
This had to be the worst case of self-doubt I’d ever experienced, and I hated it. But for the life of me, I just couldn’t break free of it.
I think Brandt realized I was freaking out too. He kept messaging me, asking for the next spot of free time I had so we could meet up, either on campus or off. When I kept putting him off, telling him I was busy, he finally asked if everything was okay.
It’s fine, I answered. I’m just cram-packed this week. Getting nervous about fina
ls.
You’ll do fine on finals...just like you do every year. Give yourself a break. No, give ME a break. I need some Sarah time. I need Socrates!
His words warmed my heart yet made me feel worse all at the same time. He made it sound as if I could fulfill his every desire, but I knew that couldn’t be true. I was just...me. Sarah. I wasn’t enough to keep a man like Brandt Gamble satisfied.
I ended up telling him, Soon, to which he spit back, Make it sooner.
Yet I still managed to avoid him until Friday evening.
I was sitting in bed, trying to study yet failing because I was so stupidly miserable, when my phone rang.
When I saw it was from Brandt, I tensed. He’d texted all week and hadn’t called, so it’d been easier to push him off. Hearing his voice might be different. Biting my lip, I debated on whether to answer. I set the phone down, only to pick it up and reluctantly press it to my ear.
“Hello?”
“I knew it!” he growled. “You’re fucking avoiding me.”
“What!” I rolled my eyes. “Oh my God. I am not.” Clenching my teeth at that lie, I added, “I answered the phone, didn’t I?”
“And you totally paused, having to debate whether to talk to me or not.” He sounded a little hurt and a lot pissed all at the same time.
Hating that I might be upsetting him in any way, I groaned before saying, “Did not. You’re being paranoid. Stop being paranoid,” all the while promising myself that I’d stop avoiding him from here on out. He was still my best friend, no matter what.
In my ear, he growled, “You promised nothing would change.”
“And nothing has changed,” I argued. Fuck, I was really going to have to be an actress the next time I saw him, pretend my heart wasn’t broken because I wanted more things than I knew I should have.
“Except you’re avoiding me,” he pushed, making me lose it.
“Dammit!” I exploded. “I am not avoiding you. This is me trying to prove to you that I’m not going to turn into a clingy psycho stalker and expect you to fall flat in love with me, give up all other women, and ask me to marry you. I’m giving you space...like a good best friend.”
There, that set things straight.
Or so I thought.
“No,” he boomed right back. “You’re fucking avoiding me. You have never avoided me before. That’s different. Things are changing.”
“Oh my God, you’re such a pain in the ass.” Why, oh why, couldn’t he have just dropped it? “If you want to see me that bad, then come over and see me already. Jesus Christ.”
“Fine,” he said. “Be there in ten.”
I snorted. “Why not make it five, you clingy son of a bitch.”
“In that case, I’m already outside your window. Open up.”
I glanced out my window, only to gasp. “Oh my God.”
He waved at me before stuffing his phone in his pocket. He’d been there the whole time and seen me almost not answer his call. Our entire conversation had been a trap to prove I really had been avoiding him. That kind of irritated me, but mostly because I’d failed his test.
I jerked up the window. “Really?”