Now I ask.
If my mind wasn’t scrambled to hell and back, I might’ve smacked myself in the head and apologized for my stupidity, but Aspen only laughed. The sound shot through me, making my exhausted dick pulse with one last aftershock inside her.
Her glazed eyes widened, but then she rubbed her nose against mine and made a satisfied hum deep in her throat. “I am so absolutely okay, I think I could live with being this okay for the rest of my life.” Her voice was husky and sexed up. It ignited yet another aftershock from me.
We both grinned those goofy happy grins and kissed slowly, lazily, as if we had all the time in the world. Something loosened in my chest. All the pressures, and worries, and desperations in my life just sort of floated away. For the first time in too long to remember, I didn’t care about anything but this moment. Aspen had taken it all away.
Wanting to thank her for the bliss, I slipped my tongue between her lips and stroked the roof of her mouth. She was everything. Everything I needed. And the way she clung to me and caressed me made me feel cherished and needed in return. We were perfect for each other.
She sighed my name, and I knew. I’d do whatever was humanly possible for this woman.
It didn’t immediately compute when something wet and warm dripped down the inside of my leg. I was too busy floating in our shared high, amazed she seemed to be as punch drunk on our aftermath as I was. But wh
atever that shit was just kept running. I blinked a few times before I realized...
I’d just ridden her bareback.
And...here came fucking reality, walloping me with a full bitch smack of what-the-fuck-did-you-just-do right in the face.
“Shit.” I yanked my hips back, pulling out of her.
She gasped from the sudden separation. Her eyes were still dewy with passion, glazed over and soft, her expression full of elation and utter relaxation. Then she looked at me. Brows knitting with confusion, she cupped my cheek with one soft hand. “What’s wrong?”
Jesus. Where to start?
***
~ASPEN~
Noel flinched when I touched him. It killed a part of me. After what we’d just done, what we’d shared. I’d never felt anything like that with anyone before, as if we were no longer two separate people, but one binding whole.
Torn in half by his small rejection, I began to withdraw my hand. But he caught my fingers and squeezed them hard. His eyes went frantic, darting around my face as if he was scared...for me. “Are you okay?” he asked, and his breathing was no longer steady but coming in short bursts.
I nodded, confused. He’d just asked me that. “Of...of course. Why? What’s wrong?”
I’d been floating, absolutely high off life. Nothing could top the sensations alive and abounding inside me. Noel had been right; we were a force of nature together. Because that had been...that had be better than every amazing word in the entire dictionary. I couldn’t even describe—
But he still looked scared out of his mind. It made no sense. How could he be scared? There was nothing to fear. Life was wonderful.
The fear eased from his eyes as he blinked and then he blew out a breath as if forcibly reining his emotions under control. When he leaned in and tenderly cuddled me, my muscles relaxed. “I swear to you, Aspen, I wasn’t lying when I said I never forget. I don’t. I mean, I never have before. But this was...wow. Shit. It wasn’t like anything I’ve ever done before. And you have to admit it was totally unplanned. And we weren’t exactly thinking rationally, and... If I’d been in the right frame of mind to remember, then...Jesus, we probably wouldn’t have done anything in the first place.”
I pulled away and looked up at him with a crinkle in my eyebrows. But what the heck was he talking about? He cringed in apology. “I’m clean. You don’t have to worry about that. They make sure of that frequently while you’re on the football team.”
I nodded. “Okay,” I said, still not catching on until he added, “Are you, by chance, on the pill?”
The pill?
The meaning finally took root, and every muscle in my body tightened. For a moment, I felt like a complete idiot. I didn’t have a lot of experience in this, but still...I’d read enough and watched movies, and...I totally should’ve realized what he was talking about from the beginning. I had a PhD, for crying out loud.
What was it with smart girls turning stupid whenever a hot guy smiled at them?
Stunned that I’d just put myself in this situation, and it was really happening...to me...I started to pull away, needing space to deal with...everything. But Noel tightened his arms around me.
No longer steady and comforting, his voice shook slightly as he whispered, “Aspen?”
He stroked my hair with those sigh-worthy hands of his just as something thumped against the door of the supply closet we were in.
I yelped, and the people on the other side laughed amongst themselves, their muffled voices filling our tiny space and jerking me back to the present with a malicious vengeance, before they moved off again, obviously not realizing we were inside.