Considering I was the source of her torment, I should give her space.
Time.
Guess I’d never exactly been known for what I should do, because I was slipping out the front door, quietly crossing the porch, and moving that way.
I knew she felt me.
Could feel her energy rippling back.
Warmth and light and grace.
They hit me like stones.
I was a bastard.
Such a bastard because I couldn’t stop myself. Couldn’t stop myself from edging up behind that sweet, sweet body, from setting my hands on her slender waist, from pulling her back against me.
Against my aching body and my hammering heart and my dick that was already hard for her again.
One taste, and I needed more.
I nuzzled my nose in the flesh of her neck, my face lost in the soft fall of chocolate waves.
Vanilla and roses.
She released a sigh, and she sank back into me. Her hands came to settle over the top of mine where I held her tight across her belly.
My voice turned rough. “This . . . this is the picture I held of you for all these years. You standing right here, in these roses, whispering that you loved me. It was what got me through the days. Remembering the things you’d told me. Who I could be. Who you saw when you looked at me. I wanted to be that guy, Faith. God, I wanted to be him. I wanted to follow that light in the darkened sky.”
“You could have been.” There was pain in her voice.
“Will you let me be him now?” I murmured into her hair. A plea. Begging with this girl for that forgiveness.
“This is all happenin’ so fast.” Fear cracked through her murmured words.
“I’ll give you all the time you need.”
She snuggled a little deeper into my arms, hugging me tighter to herself. Relishing in the connection. “Why do you make that sound like you’re stayin’?”
“Because that’s what I intend. If you let me.”
“God, Jace, you’re ruining me.”
I let my hands sweep down her thighs. “I’ll ruin you in the best of ways.”
Deeper and deeper.
Couldn’t stop.
Didn’t want to.
I needed her to know how much I wanted her.
I half expected her to go rigid and push me away, especially when I’d just promised her time. But I figured with what had just gone down in her kitchen, I would take the chance.
God knew that was what Faith and I needed.
A chance.
Even if it was going to be a fighting one.
She released a little laugh, her amusement gliding into the humid, summer morning. “You’re awfully sure of yourself, aren’t you, tough guy?”
A chuckle rippled from me, and I could feel it slide right through her, a tremble under my hands.
My lips moved against the delicate shell of her ear. “Oh, good girl, you have no idea what I’m dying to do to you. What I’ve been dreaming of. I’ve had plenty of years to think it through.”
Couldn’t help but put it out into the atmosphere.
My intentions.
Dragging her back to where we’d once been and all the places I wanted to go.
I’m going to take you. Fuck you and love you and make you scream. Drive you mad until you realize that you’re mine. That you’ve always been. That we were always supposed to be.
Those were the words I held back. With the rumble that thundered at my insides, I knew it was the truth.
A motherfucking promise.
I was going to make sure it was the truth.
The problem was, I had no idea how to broach the issue of Joseph.
How we were going to deal with that ghost.
With that loss.
Some piece inside me wanting to shatter with the idea of her still loving him.
God, I wanted to claw my eyes out, thinking of the two of them together. And somehow . . . somehow I still couldn’t even picture it.
Something shy worked its way into her posture, but when she peeked back up at me, her full lips were quirking up at the sides. “You did a pretty good job of it back in the kitchen.”
I brushed my fingers through her hair. “I was just getting started.”
That feeling filled up the air. Like it was breathed from the sky.
Pouring down from the place she’d just been looking.
“Is that what this is? A start?”
“Seems to me, we’re only picking up where we left off.”
For a beat, her spine stiffened, and I knew where her thoughts had gone. Those years coming between us, getting closer and closer until we’d have to face the consequences of them.
“Come on . . . let’s go get that little girl of yours,” I said.
I had to get out of there or I’d be taking her places I knew she wasn’t ready for.
The way she’d fallen apart in my arms this morning was proof of that.
I wasn’t sure I’d ever felt guiltier than in that moment when the girl had fucked me with that sweet, sweet mouth and then had broken up after.