I mean, fuck, I couldn’t handle it. That overbearing feeling again.
Whatever the hell it was I’d felt when I’d come around the corner of her house and realized Faith was searching for her daughter.
The fury that had laced my blood, a burst of rage combusting with desperation.
At first, I’d been intent on hunting some fucker down, then I’d seen where Faith’s mind had gone—to the stream at the back of the land—the threat of that much more realistic than the idea that someone had slipped by me when I’d been working out front.
I wasn’t supposed to feel this way about Faith’s kid.
About Joseph’s kid.
Wasn’t supposed to care.
The fact she even existed felt like a cruel joke.
And there the little girl was, getting under my skin. Grin after tiny grin.
At the beginning, it’d been easy to use her as an excuse to protect Faith.
And as I’d secured those fucking locks, the only thing I could think about was the lengths I’d go to in order to make sure she was safe.
Kept protected from this ugly mess that had nothing to do with her.
“I did the rest of the doors downstairs as well. I’m going to secure the windows upstairs and the doors leading to the upper porch. You don’t have to worry.”
Right.
Like a few new deadbolts would strip away the fear I could see lining her features. But it sure made me feel a whole hell of a lot better.
“Going to call for a security system to be installed, too.”
“Jace—”
“Don’t say it’s not necessary,” I cut in, “because you and I both know it is.”
She gave a wary nod of agreement. “Thank you,” she whispered, clutching at a monitor that had a speaker and a screen.
I was thinking it was a shame it didn’t have a record mode on it so we could push rewind. Go back a few days ago, stop this bullshit, erase what was written on Faith’s face.
“She asleep?” I asked.
Faith gave a jerky nod. “Yeah. I think I scared her.”
Tossing the screwdriver into the toolbox, I leaned back against the counter, crossing my arms over my chest and an ankle over the other.
You know . . . making myself right at damned home.
“She probably needed to know how badly that scared you, Faith. Don’t think you should shield her from that.”
Awesome.
Now I was giving parenting advice, too.
But this shit was serious.
Faith gulped over a little sound and wandered farther into the kitchen.
Every step brought her closer to where I was.
The girl filling the air.
She pulled out a chair at the round table that was situated close to the bank of windows that overlooked the back patio and lawn. She sank onto it like she didn’t have any energy left.
I moved over to the coffee pot, poured her a cup, spooned a ton of sugar into it, and then dumped a bunch of creamer in, too. If I knew her at all, that would be the way she would take her coffee.
I edged back across the floor, my heavy footsteps thudding on the floorboards.
It was like every step I took moved that energy around, pushing it higher, making it flare.
Faith was sucking in a bunch of short breaths by the time I’d crossed the small distance and set the cup down in front of her. “I thought you might need that.”
Warily, those eyes darted toward me.
Genuine and real.
“You don’t need to take care of me.”
I sank to a knee in front of her. Her chair was angled out to the side, and it was right that second when I realized the girl was too fucking close.
That I was in her space.
Breathing her air.
But I couldn’t help it, reaching out and brushing back the long piece of dark, dark hair that had fallen from the tie and down around her face.
“Maybe you don’t need help, Faith, maybe you can handle this all on your own, but I wish you would let me, anyway.”
She choked out a pained sound. “Who am I kidding, Jace? I can’t even take care of my daughter.”
I frowned, rearing back an inch to take in the expression on her face.
Defeat.
“Don’t say that. I may not have anything good to compare it to, but I know just by looking at the two of you that you are exactly what that little girl needs.”
Tears brimmed in her eyes. I wanted to make them stop falling. Dry them up. Kiss them away.
“She’s my entire world, Jace. My entire world. But sometimes, I don’t know how I’m gonna hold my world together. It feels like it’s crumbling at the seams, and no matter what I do, there is nothing I can do to patch it back together.”
She sniffled, blinked, her eyes darting around the kitchen like she was taking in the whole house. “I wasn’t supposed to have to do all of this alone. Joseph . . .”