I wanted to say so much, but I couldn’t.
Not here.
Not now.
Not like this.
I didn’t stop her when she walked away. There was absolutely nothing I could do to change the past. At this point all I could do was focus on the future.
Our future.
Although, I was damn sure I was going to get to the bottom of why she didn’t tell me about our son. We didn’t speak for the next hour. Instead, we played the newlywed couple as the photographer Autumn hired snapped photo after photo of us dressed like a bride and groom.
“You guys look amazing!” the photographer exclaimed, standing by the fountain in my backyard.
Our wedding pictures were mostly outside. Autumn staged a setup for us where we supposedly exchanged our vows under a white rose archway that was surrounded by more white roses.
Autumn was inside with the wedding officiant, making sure he understood the terms of his NDA since Sophie didn’t want to exchange vows. Caleb was with her. They were both our witnesses for this so-called wedding, the only two people in attendance. The less people there, the less the chances were of the details of our “fake marriage” getting out.
The helicopters were still flying over my estate, taking their footage of our private ceremony.
We hadn’t told Ben yet. We were waiting until tomorrow. Sophie was adamant about him not being part of this facade. She said he was too little to understand, and it would be better to just tell him we got married on a whim.
I went with what she wanted. She knew Ben better than I did. But I hated that he wasn’t there with us. For the past week, I had the interior designer who designed this property put together Ben’s bedroom, making sure to add all his favorite things that he told me he loved so he’d feel at home in my house.
Home.
It always felt like I didn’t have that four-letter word, and now this house was about to be one for our son. I tried to focus on the direction the photographer gave us for the photos, but my mind was spinning with the unexpected news that Sophie’s mom had dropped.
What other reason could there be as to why she didn’t tell me about our boy?
The question plagued my thoughts, and I couldn’t simply shove it away. Which led back to the memory of the last time I saw Sophie before I’d left for Miami. I never intended to fuck her over, but life had other plans.
The photographer tore me away from the reckless images of a heartbroken Sophie that kept crossing my mind as if it was happening right then and there.
“Let’s get a few pictures of the happy couple kissing.” She nodded to me. “Jax, pull her a little closer to you and dip her back a bit.”
I did as I was told while deeply gazing into her eyes.
“Now lay one on her.”
I didn’t have to be told twice, gripping onto the back of her neck. I kissed her for the first time in seven years. This was the moment that truly confused me. I knew she was playing a part, but her eyes were telling me something else that I couldn’t quite place.
Hurt.
Worry.
Love?
Slowly, gently, I claimed what still felt like mine. Kissing Sophie was like coming home.
The anger.
Resentment.
Forgiveness.
It was all felt in that one kiss.