“Why does football always have to come first? This is exactly why I didn’t tell Jax about Ben. I didn’t want my son to become me.”
“I thought we were past this, baby. You know I love you more than anything in this world.”
“Not more than your team.”
“That’s not fair.”
“None of this is. Please tell me you can do something.”
He deeply sighed. “I’m sorry, baby. My hands are tied. I have to do what’s in the best interest of my team, and as much as I hate to admit it, the redhead’s right.” Reaching up, he grabbed ahold of the back of my neck in a comforting gesture. “I wish you would have told me the truth about Ben, Sophie. We wouldn’t be in this situation if you had. You’ve backed yourself into this corner, baby, and the only thing I can do to help you is agree that you need to marry Jax.”
I grimaced. “You can’t be serious?”
“It’s only for a season.”
My whole life was imploding, and now my only ally was turning on me.
“Besides, think about Ben. He’s going to want to know his father, and at least this way you’re there with him.”
“Us getting married is just going to confuse him. He’s going to think we love each other.”
“There are worse things he could think, and if the press hears the truth, he will hear all sorts of awful things about his mother. Do you want that for him?”
“Of course not.”
In a stern voice, he repeated, “It’s only for a season.”
I backed away, my blood boiling with an endless stream of conflicting emotions soaring through my mind and tearing at my heart. Confusing me even more when it came to him, but in a much different way than before.
It wasn’t just about my career anymore. It was about his life and how I’d fit in it. How we’d fit in it. When everything in my mind was telling me, screaming at me, that I needed to stay away from Jax. That I needed to keep Ben away from him.
For years I’d tried, and now I’d failed.
I closed my eyes for a mere second, too consumed with decisions I didn’t know how to make. What was wrong was right outside my bedroom door, sitting in my dining room with a smug expression on his face that I wanted to smack off. I tried ignoring the looming feeling in the pit of my stomach, focusing on the fact that it would only be half a year.
Six months.
A hundred and eighty-two days.
By signing that contract, I was willingly signing my life away to a man who didn’t deserve it. My thoughts never stopped racing as I desperately tried to seek refuge in myself.
I couldn’t help but remember why I’d fallen for Jax in the first place. He seemed so honest, so real, especially when he let his guard down with me.
The way he looked at me.
Spoke to me.
Listened.
Every smile.
Every laugh.
Every word that fell from his lips felt like it meant something.
It didn’t matter how big or small. I felt like I mattered.
It was a lie.