“And it’s not like I don’t have a filter. It’s just, there’s a lot on my mind. Work stuff and, um…family stuff, and we’d been quiet awhile, so I think I was just surprised you asked a question and I blurted out what was on my mind. That explains it, but I’m still so very sorry.”
“Honey,” he said gently, “stop it.”
Utter silence in the cab.
Rix broke it.
“Every morning, I assess two things…my day and my pain. I still have pain, mostly due to getting used to my prosthetics. It’s getting better, slowly, but it’s there. So if the pain level is low, and the day is active, and I’ll be facing things that are a bitch to maneuver in a chair, I’ll wear my legs. If I’m going to need to be seriously mobile, and accessibility during my day isn’t going to be an issue, I’ll opt for my chair.”
“Oh,” she whispered.
“That said, I’m trying to be on my legs more, because they still don’t feel natural. They never will. It takes a lot of effort to use them. I expend forty percent more energy just to walk, negotiate turns, sit, stand, do anything than you do. But I can get better on them, so I need to use them. I knew I’d be needing to get up the steps to the plane today, and meeting the kids, which is better to do on my legs. So I’m on my legs.”
He finished his explanation, and he did it thinking about the rental they were in, which Jamie, Judge’s dad, had waiting for them at the airstrip where they’d landed.
Primarily, telling Alex he couldn’t drive it.
He’d just read Peri’s text, but also he’d become so used to saying shit like that to people about certain things, he now took on the edginess that brought like it was second nature. It just piled onto the rest that he was always compressing inside, tighter and tighter, so it all could fit.
But he didn’t process it.
He never processed it.
So when he shared with Alex he couldn’t drive, he hadn’t processed her response.
When they’d approached, the rental car guy had handed Rix the keys and asked for his license.
At first, they’d exchanged a glance, because Rix wasn’t big on the dude assuming it’d be Rix driving, like Alex having tits meant she couldn’t handle an SUV, and he could tell by what he read on her face, they shared that sentiment.
So they could get on with shit, unspoken, they agreed to let that go, but when Rix said what he had to say, Alex had just replied, “Oh, okay,” then she dug in her bag to get her wallet, handed her license over and took the keys.
She didn’t look at his legs.
She didn’t shift uncomfortably.
She didn’t shoot a pitying look to the rental car guy that warned, Be cool, you might not be able to tell, but the chair will be appearing soon when they unload it from the plane. My friend can’t drive because he’s disabled.
She just got on with it.
Like she didn’t try to muscle in when he threw his chair in the back of the SUV. Or give him an assessing glance, like she thought him tossing the strap of his bag over his shoulder was going to take him off balance and send him crashing to the tarmac.
He just waited for her to throw her shit in, he’d thrown his in, including the chair, and they went to their separate sides of the car, got in and took off.
“And you can change the channel, just no pop,” he finished, his voice not its usual. It was lower, contemplative.
“What’s your, uh…favorite?”
They had Sirius so he said, “Classic Vinyl. Classic Rewind. Lithium. Alt Nation.”
“Cool,” she said softly, reaching out.
But he was reaching out too.
Their fingers touched and her hand shot back like his carried an electrical current.
Rix forgot everything else that was taking up space in his head as his lips twitched when he was reminded how into him she was.
In turn, it reminded him in a lot of ways of Rachel.
Rachel was a girl in high school who was seriously pretty, she was also obviously into him, but she was like Alex. Painfully shy.
He’d wanted to go there, but he couldn’t figure out how.
So he’d talked to his dad about it, and when he’d told his father he thought she was pretty, but she wasn’t giving him an in, his dad advised, “Son, it’s simple. Just corner her and ask her out.”
So that was what Rix did.
When he did, he thought she would faint.
Up until that time, that was the cutest thing he’d ever seen.
Their first few dates, though, had been a disaster.
Even so, he still really liked her.
His father had then encouraged he persevere.
But it was his mom who said, “Effort is rewarded.”