She nods, choking back more tears. “Thank you. I need to freshen up. I'll be back in a bit.”
“Take your time. I'll be here.” I shoot her a wink, and she blushes.
“I appreciate everything you do for me. Whoever you end up marrying one day will be one lucky woman.”
Chapter Ten
TATUM
DAY 13
I wake up with a heaviness on my heart. I hated the way I reacted yesterday during Piper’s twin pregnancy announcement, but it brought back way too many painful memories. A future I should’ve had but was stolen from me. When I think about my loss, there’s an emptiness rooted deep inside. Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if the pregnancies had gone full-term. If I’d have a loving husband and a house filled with happy children, or if Justin would’ve still been a controlling asshole. All I can do is push the thoughts away because none of that happened, and it’s not the reality I get to live.
When I was a little girl, I didn’t dream of a big wedding or a huge house. I imagined having kids of my own. It’s all I ever wanted. A few tears spill down my cheeks, and I try to hurry and push them away. There’s too much sadness, hurt, and anger, and I try to forget what happened time and again, though I know those memories will live with me forever.
Once I’m settled and free from Justin again, I’m going to search for a therapist in the area. Someone who deals with miscarriages, grief, and manipulative exes who weaponized my losses. I know I need help. I haven’t been away from him long enough to be able to fully heal, and just when things were looking up, Justin came back to remind me that he’s always been in control and still is.
He disgusts me.
After I’ve cried some more in the bathroom, I splash water on my face, then try to gain control. Once I’ve calmed down, I go downstairs, where Easton is sipping a cup of coffee. I make a mug and sit next to him. He meets my eyes, and I know he knows I’ve been crying but doesn’t mention it.
“What do you want to do today? It’s your turn to decide. The world is your oyster,” he says.
“Hmm.” I tap my index finger against my lip. “There’s one thing that I’ve been wanting to do ever since I was a little girl.”
Easton tilts his head at me. “Guess it’s time to make your dreams come true.”
I laugh. “I didn’t tell you what it was yet! I could say skydiving or bungee jumping.”
“I’m game. Don’t even have to think twice about it.”
“This is why I enjoy spending time with you. There’s something about an adventurous man…”
A brow pops up. “Yeah? You find that hot?”
I snort. “It’s a good feature to have.”
He’s grinning. “So what is it? You want to find grizzly bears? Go to Greenland? Climb Mt. Everest?”
“Collect seashells.”
His smile softens. “That’s it? Guess today’s your lucky day. The tide is going out soon and that’s the best time to go hunting.”
“Really? I didn’t know there was a schedule for this.”
He finishes his cup. “Yeah, high tide brings in the best shells so you go look around when it’s low. After a storm is the absolute best!”
“How do you know all this?” I finish my last sip and grab a yogurt from the fridge.
“Every Easter, we’d celebrate by finding eggs and hunting for seashells. It was a nice memory. Mom loved collecting them. Next time we’re in the garage, I’ll have to show you the ones we've saved over the years.”
“That sounds amazing. I would’ve been in heaven.”
Easton checks the time on his phone. “Go change, and let’s go before it gets too hot. I’ll grab the sunscreen. Don’t want a repeat of last time.”
I chuckle, excited as I finish eating. Once I’m done, I rush upstairs to change into the bikini Easton got me and slip on some cutoffs. Before I walk out, I take a quick glance at myself in the mirror, then throw my hair up into a high ponytail.
He’s waiting for me with two sand pales in his hands. “This one’s for you, milady.”
“Appreciate it,” I say, and we make our way to the beach. The sun hangs lazy on the horizon, and I can never get enough of this view.
Easton walks close beside me as we make our way to the shore. There are a few runners out, which is typical in the mornings, but for the most part, it’s deserted.
“Sunscreen,” he reminds, then squirts some in my hand. I cover my arms and stomach, then grab the bottle so I can do my legs.
“Want help with your back?” he asks.
I smile. “That would be awesome.”
Easton rubs the lotion in his palms to warm it up, then massages it against my skin. He takes his time, making sure he touches every inch, and I can’t help the heat that rushes through me. As he kneads my shoulders, my breath hitches, and I’m thankful he can’t see my face.