What do you say to something like that? I merely shoot her an encouraging smile.
“You’re doing great, baby. Soon this will be over and we’ll have a squalling baby boy in our hands.”
Christine merely grimaces with discomfort.
“Yeah, if I’m not split in two by the process.”
Oh shit. It’s bad, isn’t it? But I try to play the part of supportive dad, and squeeze her hand again.
“Want me to get some ice cubes for you to chomp on?” I ask.
She shakes her head, her eyes squeezing shut again.
“No, just get the doctor because ahhhhh!” she screams. “Fuuuuuuck!”
My woman literally bucks a bit on the bed, her big belly shifting. In a panic, I hit the call button and her doctor, Dr. Lafferty, and the nurses come rushing in. The doctor seats herself between my woman’s legs and then peers up beneath Christine’s gown.
“You’re doing great,” she says. “It’s time to have this baby. I need you to start pushing for me, Christine. Push really hard with your next contraction.”
In about three seconds, Christine cries out again, and her grip on my hand tightens even more. She shuts her eyes tight and bears down, heaving with all her might while letting out another ear-splitting scream.
“Fuuuuck!” she shrieks. “Get this thing out of me!” Watching her, all I can think is how incredible this woman is, even given her rampant cursing.
“That’s it, Christine,” Dr. Lafferty says encouragingly. “His head’s crowning. I just need you to give me one more big push.”
Christine looks up at me with tired eyes.
“I can’t.”
The doctor shakes her head.
“One more and we get to meet the baby. You’ve got this.”
My woman nods, and a moment later she bears down again as an incredible contraction wracks her body.
“Fuuuuuuck!” she screams again, sweat literally pouring down her temples. “Shit! Fuuuuuck!”
Angry wails break into the air as tears spring to my eyes. Hot damn, it’s really happened. Dr. Lafferty reaches up and then catches something before standing with a baby in her arms.
“You did it,” she announces. “He’s healthy.”
Then, she places the squalling child on Christine’s chest and we both look down with shock.
“Oh god, he’s so beautiful,” Christine whispers with tears in her eyes.
I rub my fingers over his dark hair, looking down into the tightly screwed-up face.
“He’s perfect, honey. You did great.”
But then we’re interrupted.
“It’s time to do the honors, Dad,” a nurse says. She pulls the umbilical cord tight while another woman hands me scissors.
“Here you go, Dad,” Dr. Lafferty says, pointing to the middle of the umbilical cord. “Cut right here.”
I snip and it’s almost too easy. The cord falls away and the doctor does some tying stuff before trimming the cord further. Then, the baby’s whisked away to check his vitals and clean him up. Christine and I gape at one another.
“I’m so tired,” she sighs. “But I’m glad it’s done.”