Never had he felt this need before, but seeing Misha, hearing her want to leave, it was making it impossible for him to fight.
He came to a sudden stop, paws digging into the earth as he thought about Misha. A picture of her playing over his mind.
For three years, he’d stayed away, watched her, craved the few times he got to see her. The way she smiled, which lit up her whole face. Even when she frowned, she looked so fucking cute. When she concentrated, from time to time, her tongue would stick out at the side, and she’d be so deep in thought, nothing would stop her. The pack loved her, and the truth was, so did he.
He did love her.
The moment he realized she was his mate, he knew he was lucky, but the moment he’d seen her, he’d also known he couldn’t have her.
Being the person to find his mother’s dead body had stuck with him. Under the pressures of being alpha, he’d promised himself he would never put that kind of life on his mate.
What Decker hadn’t expected was his feelings for Misha to be so strong. He fought them on a daily basis. They never went away and only got stronger with each passing second. Some days he’d get close to her just to inhale her vanilla fragrance.
At full moons, he would follow her at a reasonable distance, just to keep an eye on her and to also make sure his wolf wouldn’t do anything crazy. So long as he followed his wolf and gave him what he wanted, there was never any backlash.
This was why his father’s line of men worked as the alpha. They didn’t fight their turning. They embraced every single part of their turning and their wolf. They weren’t two separate beings, but one united together.
He came to the edge of the clearing and collapsed back into that of a human. Taking a seat, he stared up at the sky. The full moon had already passed, but the sky was still beautiful.
“I thought I would find you out here.”
Decker didn’t need to turn to see Blueberry approaching. “What brings you here?” he asked.
They were good friends. He’d asked Blueberry to keep an eye on Misha. If there was ever anything his mate needed, all Blueberry needed to do was ask.
“I wanted to talk to you.” Blueberry took a seat beside him and glanced up at the sky. “It really is so majestic, isn’t it? The full sky. The power of a single moon.”
“What do you want, Blueberry?”
The woman rarely used small talk with him. She was always direct, to-the-point, and observant.
“Misha is unhappy. She believes you will find another mate very soon, and when that happens, she doesn’t want to be responsible for what happens next.”
“Does she think she will try to defend my honor?” The thought of Misha fighting for him, well, it made him very happy, but he knew deep down that he shouldn’t be smiling. This wasn’t a happy day.
Misha shouldn’t do anything.
“You know Misha is in love with you.”
“That is the mating talking.”
“I know what you think, but I don’t agree with you. Some of what she is feeling is the old power of mates coming together, but this is something more.” Blueberry sighed. “You need to either take her as your mate, Decker, or you will have to let her go.”
He shook his head. He could do anything but let her go.
The few times he got to see her were the best moments of his life. “She’s not leaving the pack.”
“And you’re not taking another mate.”
“Exactly. Tell her that.”
“Just how long do you think you can keep it up?” Blueberry said. “I’m not going to lie to you, Alpha. Three years is a long time for anyone, and we both know what happens when a wolf feels like it is losing.”
“I’m not going to lose. Nothing is going to happen. You need to stop worrying, and just help Misha adapt.”
“Misha wants a family, Decker. She wants to fall in love, get married, have lots of babies. She was all alone. You know her story. Everyone knows her story.”
“Does she talk about her family?” he asked.
“The only family she has ever known is this one right here. She has no interest in anyone else. She wants to be a mother, and we both know she’d make a good one.”
“I’m not going to claim her, Blueberry.”
“Then to speak frankly, Alpha, you’re being an ass to her. She deserves the chance at happiness. So if you’re not going to be with her, set her free and allow her to find someone who will love her for her.” Blueberry got to her feet, brushed off her backside, and stormed off.
He couldn’t let Misha go.
Decker had spent way too long stopping everyone from getting close to her. He wasn’t going to allow another male to take what was his.